Why Tonight?
Since I’ve started hanging out with the straight folks and going to straight bars and meeting straight guys, I’ve found myself so disenchanted. I often thought that perhaps if I hung out with more straight people, I’d meet some dude to have regular sex with and sometimes good conversation.
But really, I’ve realized the male situation is bleak. The male situation is really a matter of the stars aligning. There are millions of factors that need to be in place for two people to fall in love and to stay together. It seems almost impossible.
Sometimes I go out in hopes of maybe meeting someone. Silly, I know. Then I wonder, how many nights have I been out, how many men have I met, how many men have I dated… and why, why would tonight be the night I met the person with whom I’d spend the rest of my life?
posted by MissCurious @ 10:24 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
You are confusing independent events with dependent events. Just because you haven't met someone in all those other nights doesn't mean that you won't meet one in the future. This is similar to applying for jobs, looking for homes, etc. You make events dependent when you allow negative feelings from your past to affect your attitude/mood in the present. Any guy you meet for the first time--who has had no contact with you before--will sense your thoughts of futility. It's unfair to him and unfair to you to think that today and tomorrow will assuredly be like yesterday... unless you make certain it will occur.
You sound smart :-)
You're right. I know you're right. But sometimes, just sometimes, it's fun to have a defeatist attitude. It's something to do on a Saturday night when you're debating on going to a club with a dress code, a cover, and a line.
hey, i like anonymous! those are some words of wisdom.
well... yes, anonymous, but how likely is misscurious to find the one she's looking for at a bar, dependent event or not?!
I guess you are never coming back...
In my mind, I am writing your ending as -- you discovered that you were whole as a single person -- not needing to be validated by finding the one.
Living a happy single woman life, and then you found a great job and a man who you enjoy on many levels.
You are now wandering through that relationship-dom and new career as the strong, independent woman whose writing I have admired through the blog for some time.
Sending you peaceful thoughts.
Anonymous - not sure that you'll get this reply, but unfortunately, I can't say that I've found all of those things.
I will come back to writing, but not until I'm a little more settled. Funny thing is - I'm still figuring out my job situation and all of my creative juices this year have been somewhat lost to the uninspiring majority of my waking hours - work, bleh!
In the elevator just now, I was mouthing the words to Prince's "the beautiful ones" silly, yes... but it made me realize that I had no real desire for romance right now. My priority is clear, and until that settles a bit, I can start thinking more about the other things.
I was planning on shooting an email out when I start up the blog again. not sure if you'd feel comfortable sending me your email, and I can include it. If you do, hmm, either write it in a comment or is there some way to contact me through this w/out giving away my personal info? anyway, if you think of something, let me know :-)
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