I Don't Think he Wanted to Be an 8inch Pianist

Maybe it’s because I’m the middle child or grew up with a sizeable pooch that I have this insatiable need to cut and dye my hair…. And with this insatiable desire there have come many hair disasters and recoveries. It started at a young age, 12, I think it was… My under-aged step-mom streaked my hair and as easy as it was to convince her to do it, my waist long hair caught on fire when my grandma kicked my ass playing swords with marshmallow sticks – yeah, she backed me into a tiki-torch. Here comes my first short hair-cut, and I actually dug it.

When I was 15, my friend and I decided to go purple, of course not telling our folks so that they couldn’t talk reason into our thick heads. Yet another disaster. With no experience, I not only dyed my hair, but my entire back, shoulders, cheeks, and forehead. This was my grape phase. The recovery was okay… this is where mom and dad as though taking turns to rub their daughter’s back when she’s projectile vomiting, they began taking turns to the hair salon for recovery of Miss Curious’ latest hair disaster.

11 years later, in one week, I went from jet black to yellow to short “merlot” to “funky cherry” to “chilled plum”. The yellow didn’t like taking new colors, so I’m semi-permanent dying the fro every other day.

When I think of my new hair, there are a few images that come to mind:

- Shag Carpet
- Duster
- Cartoon Character
- A True Afro
- Lesbian Biker Chick
- Brigitte Nielsen in her Flava-Flav Days

It’s about 2 inches long (shortest it’s ever been) and sticks straight-up…. Attractive. No. My older sister Naughty Nadia says, “Apes, once you go short, there’s fucking nothing you can’t do!” It certainly makes in an interesting case study on femininity… you don’t realize how much you appreciate your goddamn hair until it’s gone. But, after spending a few days w/ the new grape head, I’m diggin’ it.

So the man walks into a bar... the bartender (part-time Genie) tells him he has 3 wishes... the man asks for a million bucks and instead gets a million ducks... Miss Curious walks into the hair salon and asks for 'man-getting hair' instead the hearing impaired Genie gives her 'wo-man-getting hair'... yeah, that's not what i ordered.
I should have pix of it tomorrow… unfortunately went through the yellow stage sans-photos.