Miss High IQ: A Motley Monday

THINGS ONE SHOULD LEARN IN KINDERGARTEN: MISS CURIOUS HAS DONE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING, WHICH IS IT???

Blumpkin: Giving a blow job to a guy who’s taking a shit.

Dirty Sanchez: While having sex in the Doggie-style position, the male sticks his finger in the female’s (or male’s) ass. Upon noticing a coat of excrement on one’s finger, he then reaches around a wipes the excrement over her upper lip creating a curvy moustache reminiscent of a Mexican cowboy, vaquero.

Donkey-Punch: While having anal sex doggie style, the male proceeds to punch out his partner. When the partner passes out, the anus tightens giving the male’s cock a nice firm satisfying grip on his cock.

Golden Shower: Pissing or being pissed on by your sexual partner.

Hot-Plate: A man or women lies on his or her back. The person on his back tautly holds a piece of saran wrap. The other partner squats over the saran wrap and proceeds to take a large dump. Because saran wrap is clear, it allows for a pleasant shit show.

Rusty-Trombone: Licking your partner’s anus while giving him a hand-job.

Paddington: When a girl won’t let you cum in her or on her, a male then cums all over her stuffed animals, rather Paddington Bears.

Snow Ball: After giving your partner a blow-job, he cums in your mouth. You then kiss him and give him his cum right back.

Walrus (I think this is what it’s called, Duckky?): After giving your partner a blow-job, he cums in your mouth. He then punches you in the stomach and cum streams out of your nostrils giving you a likeness to a Walrus.

MISS HIGH IQ:

Humming around my apartment in true Julie Andrews fashion, I decide I’d pull the Martha Stewart out of me and clean my glass pipe with 420 Agent Orange (especially designed for cleaning pipes.) The bottle said to soak it in a plastic bowl, so being resourceful like Martha, I decided to clean out the hummus container. I then soaked the pipe overnight.

This morning, I removed the pipe and emptied the container. Here are the thoughts in my head:

“Hm. Wow. It worked. What’s in this Agent Orange stuff anyway?”

“Hm. Garbanzo beans, taheni, lemon juice and spices? Who would’a thunk to use those ingredients as pipe cleaner?”

In KriKri fashion: Wait for it……… Wait………

“Oh my god. I’m reading the hummus container.” A Humbling Moment.

WHY BREAKING UP IS HARD FOR ME:

And why is it so hard to break-up with someone you really love / loved? Because it’s hard to believe that it can happen twice… I love that campy romantic comedy, “Someone Like You,” where Ashley Judd is reminded by Hugh Jackman, “Ray is not the last man you’re ever going to love.”

AVAILABLE FOR WEDDINGS AND BARMITZVAHS

On this lovely Monday, I thought I'd showcase my great photography skills... this photo is from Midge's "After Party"... it's much like my one and ONLY picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa... where the photo was all blue sky and clouds with the very tip of the tower in the right hand corner. How is it that I missed the ENTIRE tower? (Right to Left: Midge, Enrique Vagina in the mirror, and My Name Is Tim)
















SHOWS MISS CURIOUS HAS ATTENDED (AT LEAST THE ONES I CAN REMEMBER, THERE HAVE BEEN MORE, I THINK):

Alanis Morissette
America
A Band Called Pain (3)
Beastie Boys
Ben Harper
Billy Corgan
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Cake
Charlotte Martin
Cold Play
Counting Crows
Dave Matthews’ Band (7)
Death Cab for Cutie
Digital Underground
Duran Duran
Eenor
Elefant (2)
George Clinton
Green Day
Jack Johnson
Living Colour
Liz Phair
Madonna
Mason Jennings
Maroon 5
Medeski, Martin, & Wood
Neil Young
Nine Inch Nails (3)
No Doubt
Ozomatli (4)
Pearl Jam
Prince
Rage Against the Machine
Smashing Pumpkins (3)
Snow Patrol
Tegan and Sara
311
Tori Amos (2)
Toto
A Tribe Called Quest
U2

Would Pay HUGE BUCKS to See This Band Get Back Together:
Smashing Pumpkins

One Singer/Group to Be Resurrected From the Dead:
Jeff Buckley

Must See Before I Die:
Bjork
Radiohead

Could Die Without Seeing, But REALLY Want to See:
Arcade Fire
Muse
Pete Yorn
Mary J. Blige