Mixed-Mas

When I got back from London, I of course immediately had to go to Amoeba and buy a CD I’d desperately been wanting. I’m looking through all the CD’s, and it’s not there. This guy asks me if I need help.

“Oh no… it’s just not here,” I replied being somewhat intimidated by those holier-than-thou hipster music store boys.

“No question’s a stupid question. Are you sure? I bet I can find it for you.” He insists.

“No, really… it’s okay.”

“Well, what is it you’re looking for?” He pleads, apparently really wanting to help me. Hm.

“Okay… it’s Rykarda Parasol.”

He turns to the guy next to him and asks where it is. Once he walks me over to it, he says, “I asked that guy where it was because he’s in the band, and he’s pretty amazing.”

What a fucking coincidence. How crazy is that? Is that not totally random?!?!

Yesterday, The Brother and I spoke a gazillion times… he’s now dating some new chick, and I’ll admit, there was a tinge of jealousy. He dates more than anyone I know, Jesus!!! After I told him this Amoeba story (which is more exciting to me than anyone else of course), he proceeds to tell me about Fall Out Boy’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Kimmel asked them who they’re listening to these days, and one of them says, “I’m really into A Band Called Pain.” Um, that’s The Brother’s band… how fucking rad is that?!?!?! Also, the intro music for Dane Cook’s Tourgasm or some shit like that is also The Brother’s band.

The Englishman… we’ve emailed a couple more times… I guess there’s really no point. I probably won’t see him for another 8 months… and he’s young… AND I STILL FEEL HUMILIATED. And I just have to wonder – why did that happen? Why did he have to do that that one night… what the fuck did I need to learn? What was to come from that except for me feeling like a foolish naïve girl??? I’ve felt like that plenty. I just don’t understand. It did – It did really hurt…. Uhhhh… I vividly remember looking at the condom – looking at his face and realizing what had happened and clenching my jaw and trying my hardest not show any emotion… trying my hardest to act completely un-phased… just trying my hardest to turn-off… to hold my chin up… to catch my breath.

This coming weekend, me and Bad Break-Up are getting together... this will be the first time we've seen each other in almost 3 years. Again, this is strictly platonic. He is very much in love with his new girlfriend... it'll be nice to finally see one another on good terms... to put the past behind us and laugh.

12 Good Reasons NOT to Have a Boyfriend Over the Holidays:

1. You can pig out as much as you want with no one watching.
2. You don’t have to buy some huge expensive gift and stress out about how you’re going to afford buying anyone else anything because you have this retarded boyfriend who wants the new PlayStation.
3. When you break-up a month later, it won’t sting every time you get into your bed with the 800 thread-count sheets he just bought you for Christmas.
4. You don’t have to go visit his parents and pretend to enjoy conversations that you just can’t wait to get out of.
5. You don’t have to pretend you like what his mom buys you.
6. You won’t get pissed that he’s planned ZERO for New Year’s… you want him to take charge, and since he doesn’t, you have yet another good reason to argue.
7. You can get wasted at your company holiday party and hook-up with some guy you’re not supposed to and then you can blame it all on the holiday season.
8. You can sit on Santa’s lap guilt free.
9. You can eat as many of Santa’s elves’ candy canes as you’d like.
10. One less person to make time for.
11. Every time you look at the big, thick, long Christmas tree, you won’t think of all your boyfriend’s inadequacies.
12. You have a reason for the holiday blues… “If only I had a boyfriend, then I’d be happy.” But if you had one and you still weren’t happy, then you’d be royally fucked!!!