At Last!

ON THE NEW JOB SCENE

I now ride the bus into the financial district. It's a different breed of people on that bus. The girls - when they wear pearls, they mean it. I, on the other hand, am an impostor. I’m like a little girl playing dress-up.

I own one pair of nice shoes and not because I bought them. My mom did. They’ve been sitting in my closet for about 2 years, and I now have to wear them at my new office. Unfortunately, I didn’t keep the shoe box because it probably said, “warning: not good for crowded buses, rainy weather, walking any distance, standing, sitting, and wearing.” Sheesh, my feet hurt everyday.

And wow, San Francisco has straight men? And straight men who wear wool coats and shiny shoes? But then, they might as well all be gay because the expensive watch and snug tie wearing dudes are simply not my type. It’s an interesting change of atmosphere though. A totally different vibe then the one I was in before.

As for the job itself, I’m in the learning stage. It isn’t the most exciting job, but the people are truly very nice. Everyone’s been at the company forever. Very low turnover. Then, of course, there’s my planning for the future, so although I’m not playing pranks on my co-workers and wearing black hooded sweatshirts to work everyday there are quite a few benefits. I’m biting the bullet for a little while.


Shitting in a new office:

My new office doesn’t have a “back bathroom” where one can do her business in peace. Unfortunately, shitting in those bathrooms is like living in a museum. Just not comfortable.

Then the time finally came where I couldn’t hold it any longer. I waited until the coast was clear before jetting past cubicle row. I made it. Safe. Of course the minute I relax, someone walks in. I then had to hold the plopping until she left, so in my head all I can think is, “hurry up. I can’t hold this shit forever.” Finally, she leaves, and I finish my dirty business as uncomfortably as I began. Since my biz was rather fragrant, I was happy to have spotted Citris Magic on my way in, so I could combat the putrid stench.

As I came out, there stood my beacon on the horizon... Citrus Magic. I reach for the bottle and like those milk commercials where someone's eaten an entire chocolate cake and then reaches for the milk container only to find that it's empty... and she then has that panicked look upon her face, that was me. An empty Citrus Magic bottle. No Magic afterall. Only panick. Shit-shit-shit. Literally. Gulp. I quickly sprinkled water on my hands and bolted out in hopes of no one catching me. I then had to compose myself, so the cubicle habitants along the way would never suspect.

2 weeks at my job, and I've never been so constipated.



BOYS:

I had sex. After 6 months sans-bangin’.

Anyone remember my short-lived fling Flava-Flav, who I told I would never have a relationship with because he was a self-proclaimed cheater? Named Flava-Flav because he’d so be that chick in the flava-flav house who said shit like, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here for Flav.” And then everyone ends up hating him.

The last time I saw him was in April. Over the months we’ve dropped each other a line here and there or had brief chats on gtalk. He’s actually been very sweet in asking about my job and how I’m doing. However, there’s no way I would ever have that kind of feelings for him. I never really did anyway.

Friday night, rather Saturday morning, I received a text at about 3 am. I thought it was my sister who’d texted about an hour earlier, so I checked my phone. Oddly, it was him. Even more oddly, it was a text that said, “I’m outside your front door.”

It was late, and I felt badly not acknowledging him, so I told him he could crash at my house.

One thing led to another, and there we were... use your imagination. It wasn’t a bad idea to fuck him. I know I don’t and won’t have feelings for him… I mean, I really know. He is so fucking good at fucking that I couldn’t resist despite being barely awake.

Anyway, he then told me how he thinks about me all the time and pictures me when he’s fucking other chicks.

What the fuck?!?!?!

But, I’m still in the clear. This is still not going to be anything more than it was, phew! He recently started dating someone, and he said he just HAD to get me out of his system before he could commit.

He said it was great, and he was on his way. I fell back to sleep.

It was just what I needed.

Aside from him, I’m still completely prospect-less. There isn’t one guy I’m attracted to and think about. No one. Oh well. I’m sure something will come along eventually. You know, they just may arrive at your doorstep in the middle of the night.

And oh, no cute boys at work. It's a large office, so they could potentially be hiding out in their offices.


To conclude, my thoughts have been consumed with my new routine. Dressing differently, interacting with people differently (like keeping the sarcasm to a minimum), having different tasks, learning completely different things… going to a different office, riding a bus again.

Aside from that, I’ve been essentially gone for the last 3 weekends, and I haven’t had much time for myself. Writing, unfortunately, has been on the back-burner. I’m going to pick it up regularly over the next 2 weeks.