Content Maintenance

I had a quiet weekend. I saw 2 movies, both by myself. And it was nice. And I liked that it was quiet. I like that I’m heading in a simple direction. Despite my blog and super grudge holding stubborn personality, I really want to be silent. I just want to go day to day. I want to go home and watch a movie or read a book or get excited about a new play-list on my iPod. I don’t mean to stir up trouble or act immaturely. I just want to plain and simple be nice to everyone… to be patient… to be understanding… part of this does entail a certain level of withdrawal, but I believe I can find a balance. Hm. The Art of Contentment?

And My Art is Being Challenged:

Christmas hasn’t even ended, and the New Year’s “what to do?” craziness has already begun… You see, most of my life I spent at my dad’s in Massachusetts where I knew no one and preferred going to bed early. Now that I’m older, I realize that so many people have all these expectations of having a GREAT New Year’s. And then I feel all this pressure, like I should be doing something cool… but really, I know it seems like a pity-party or something, but I wouldn’t mind watching movies and eating food that will kill me sooner rather than later.

So I’ve had all these emails back and forth about what to do and who’s going – who’s not – couples outing or singles outing… and I’m spinning… I’ve got to stop spinning… so all you punk-loves reading this, if for some reason, I pull a Houdini (disappear) it’s for no special reason, merely the fact that it’d be kinda nice to have a chill New Year’s… and to toast with my childhood androgynous bear Rainbow.

And should this be the winning contender, I sincerely hope that no one takes it personally because it isn’t meant to be some pout… it really is the fact that New Year’s for me has typically been quiet, and I do like it. And many of you think I’m wild and crazy Miss Curious, but really that’s Miss Curious 2, and Miss Curious 1 is the homebody, who loves her family and loves sitting in a dark theater and loves tuning the world out with music.

Again, I am still undecided about plans, but please – please – please don’t even sweat me… I’m just feeling mellow right now. Content to be exact. Yes, Content. Sweetly Content.