The Sex Lives of Others

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had many conversations about the sex lives of others. Most recently, a friend told me that her boyfriend never went down on her. They’d been together in total for about 2 years. She said he was always begging her to do it, but that she felt self-conscious. When it comes to oral, I’m finding that this “self-conscious” feeling is more common amongst women than I had ever expected.

Others haven’t given their boyfriends blow-jobs in years. Some hardly ever have sex. The only relatively active couple I know have been hindered by some unfortunate female health troubles, which significantly diminished her sex drive as well as their general ability to even have sex.

How many times a week is considered normal? Most people I know have sex once a week. Sometimes twice.

Why is it that all these men are just taking what they can get? Pussy-whipped. Perhaps they simply feel glad they’re getting laid at all?

What happened to partners wanting to please one another? If it makes one’s boyfriend happy to get a blow-job, why wouldn’t one want to give it to him? It doesn’t have to be every night, but it’s a nice intimate thing to do.

It just seems that so many couples are lackluster about sex.

And it’s amazing that men and women have such a huge disparity in sex drives. I can reason everything back to the hunter – gatherer times and overall propagation of the species, but in the ways we evolved, there are still some pieces that don’t quite fit together.

It’s so interesting to me that every couple has this secret sex life wrought with issues that are perhaps reflections of how the relationship is really going or where a person is in his or her head… and then, how does the other partner react to the other’s low libido or high libido… or likes and dislikes --- if your favorite thing is oral, but your partner won’t perform or if you’re into porn and he or she isn’t… so on and so forth. What’s too much of a compromise?

But of course, I’m sure there are a lot of happy sex lives out there… I just have yet to meet those people, hahahaha!

BOYS:

I saw iBartender last night. He asked if I’d gone to an SF music festival… that he wondered if he’d bump into me. I often wonder if guys from the past ever think about me. I told him that when I hear certain songs, I still think of him. He then gave me my drinks for free, which was a nice gesture.

Fortunately, those feelings I once had for him are long gone.

Speaking of feelings that are long gone, Obsession is nowhere on my radar. Ever since he cheated on his girlfriend with me (unbeknownst to me and upon discovering I kicked his ass OUT!), I haven’t really thought so highly of him. It wasn’t just cheating with me that lowered my regard for him, but it's also that he justifies doing it on a regular basis, even saying, “I haven’t met a girl who makes me want to be faithful,” as though it’s her fault. He also did the, “my relationship with her really is over anyway. By June 1st, she’ll be gone.”

Then, that was not the case. They are still together, and according to my other bartender friend there, he is still cheating! No respect. He’s like 33/34. He should know better.

It’s discovering things like this about dudes that makes you appreciate the really good ones, like Bam. But then, Bam doesn’t want me.