The Single Life

I keep having to remind myself that I’m single. Bam and I are not together.

I suppose it doesn’t help to email everyday, all day. Neither of us has changed our MySpace status. We both still have “In a Relationship.” Guess it should probably read “Still Not Over Him.”

These itty-bitty relationships all take a toll. Plus, I’m like Little Miss Intense. I’m your classic when I fall, I fall hard. And when it’s over, I fall even harder. Shitty. While I may be capable of feeling higher highs than most, the downside is, of course, feeling lower lows than most.

This weekend my parents rolled in for a night after a week of camping in Super North Northern California. When they leave, I feel a great absence. It’s like coming back from their house in SoCal where I end up feeling a little more lonely than usual.

Luckily, I had Saturday night plans that consisted of being around a lot of people, so I wouldn’t stay home feeling sorry for my stupid-ass for no good reason.

Saturday night was a friend’s birthday. Everyone was upbeat and pretty much ready to get wasted. (shout out to Toe-Up… hope you know who you are!!!) Anyway, as I was sitting at the bar, a guy actually asked me what my sign was. I mean really. He said, “when’s your birthday?”

Me, “July 7th.”

“Ahhh, you must be a Gemini or a Scorpio?”

“Um, no.”

Then he proceeds to guess every sign, but my sign.

“Cancer,” I finally tell him.

“Oh, that must mean you have a hard shell and are sensitive on the inside.”

Are you fucking kidding me? This is where I tug on LaSassy’s shirt to be rescued. Luckily, she got the hint and pulled me right over.

As I’m minding my own business, the bartender hands me a shot. I’m looking around to see who I’m supposed to be passing it to when he gives me a “know silly, it’s for you, let’s toast” look.

Surprised, I toast him. He walks away.

10 minutes later, he comes back with 2 more shots. One for me and one for my friend… and then, one for him. We toast again. He walks away.

10 minutes later, “hey, how many girls do you have with you?”

I guessed about 7.

He hands me 7 cloth visors with the bar’s name on it.

We all proceeded to put our visors on and took some rad pix.

I swear to jesus, oh my god, do I have something on my forehead that attracts bartenders (and waiters)?!?!?!? I was just so surprised by the bartender. He just seemed to be busily working and paying no attention to me. It was all out of the blue.

I wasn’t attracted to the guy, but he really was a sweetheart. I much appreciated his generosity.

It’s funny. Sometimes I’m so dense. I remember when Obsession (the manager of one of my favorite bars) approached me. It was a Sixteen Candles moment where I’d lusted after him for so long (as Molly Ringwald/Samantha had with Jake Ryan) and when he introduced himself to me and made some comment about me not having been there in a while, I pretty much did the look behind me right – look behind me left – mouth, in my head, “who me?”… I never get it.

Anyway, after a night of dudes looking down my top, I was missing Bam. I don’t hang out at heterosexual bars much anymore… is that where I’m supposed to meet dudes?

Bleh.

I quit.

Again.

Hahaha!


BTW - where the hell did Jake Ryan go after Mermaids?!!! Jesus, he was hunk-a-licious!!! I still wish he were up in his bedroom at that party, slamming his gf's hair in the door, and looking my number up in the yearbook.