Missing Him

I miss Bam.

My aunt's been visiting from Massachusetts (my roots), and I've been sleeping in my closet (don't ask).

Tuesday night, I finally got hit hard.

As I lied amongst my beat-up converse with my cheek pressed against my pillow, I stared into the dark abyss of Levis and Gap jeans just thinking. Thinking about what went wrong. When I closed my eyes, a little tear trickled out. Then another. I had to muffle the sounds that followed.

It was hard to sleep that night.

At midnight, Bam sent me a text. I'd left him this horrid voice-mail earlier. My aunt and roommate were in the room. If he'd picked up, I would have left the room. Then, one of the ladies started to laugh, and I started to laugh hysterically. My whole message was me laughing nervously. I mean, like can't breathe laughing with little bouts of noise. I then finished the message by saying, "Wow, this message was really unsuccesful."

I was horrified. The ladies could NOT stop laughing at how ridiculous the message was... like worst case scenario message.

His text said good-night and that he enjoyed hearing my laugh.

He still emails me every morning.

We haven't spoken on the phone for a week and a half.

I miss his voice.

Emails = bad

They keep us both hanging on.

He asked if he could see me this weekend, so he'll be coming over on Sunday. Bad idea, but I can't resist. I'll post all about it on Monday.

It's funny how I have had a reaction of "I need a rebound dude, and I need him now!" But of course, those always seem to turn sour fa-ast! So, here I'll vent my ridiculousness on this blog and leave my hurt and frustration with the dating world right here.

LEIGH the DFMER:

Yes, my posts like "Why's Being Alone Such a Bad Thing" do stem from things I'm experiencing in my life at that moment. But then, I just think a TON about everything all the time, so posts could actually spawn from everyone around me, things that are happening in the world, and human nature in general. Typically, they are personal experience.

I enjoy your comments. I think we consider a lot of the same things. Always analyzing ;-).