Catching Up!

Did I mention I took off to So Cal all last week?!?! I’m sure I was missed. So yeah, I hibernated while I over-analyzed life and all that bullshit. I came to the conclusion that I just need something to believe in… true happiness, true love, true goodness… something. I believe in integrity… going to sleep comfortable with how you treat people.

There’s just so much suffering in the world. There are so few people I know who are truly happy. So few people who love their jobs… have great relationships with significant others or great friendships… and of course we live in this world where people kill each other for money and power… and I’ll just never – never – ever understand that. I just don’t understand. It’s difficult for me to reconcile all of these things… and to believe in people… there’s just something more that I need in my life to be find myself engaged in the world instead of being so disenchanted with the state of things.

Well whatever, I’m powerless… so boo-hoo me… and blah-blah-blah!!! ;-)


REALLY DEEP THOUGHTS:

While I was at home, I went through some of my old skool clothes. Some were pretty frickin’ cute and coming back in style. But, they of course don’t fit me anymore. For one second I though, “Hmm, I should just loose some chub and use these as motivation.”

I’ve of course had those skinny clothes in my closet before, but do I ever lose my blubber? Um, no. So I swiftly said fuck it, I’m a woman now with a woman’s body, and I don’t give a shit if I don’t fit into my high school clothes, hahaha!

Speaking those extra lbs, I think I’ll eat some Support Your Co-Worker’s Kid’s Soccer Team Wafer Chocolate now. Great idea!


MORE DEEP THOUGHTS:

I once said that as certain as I would one day die, I was just as certain that I’d lick ass again one day too.

Now I don’t think that’s so true. Well, unless I dated some dude where he just had to have his ass licked, but really, the thought of it is kinda’ disgusting, and perhaps I’ll be lucky and find someone who can live the rest of his life without a good rim-job.

Thoughts of ass crack naturally led to whether or not I’d ever kiss a dude again. I mean really, there are no certainties.

I do, however, like to daydream of the next guy I’ll kiss. It’s so intimate. I love the part right before the kiss where your faces are so close to each other that you can feel his hot breath mingle with yours. Yes, cheesey, but it’s fun to think about nonetheless. Who oh who will I be that intimate with? Or maybe never. Really. It’s always a possibility. It just is. I hope that’s not the case.

And of course, women think kissing while men think fucking. Oh Geez!

EL JOB:

Malenky, thank you for the profession suggestion, hahaha. It does sound fun to be a sex therapist, but… but, I don’t know.

So, I sent out 2 resumes, and I got a call for one of the jobs. Much to my surprise. I had an over the phone interview last week, and they want me to come in this Friday. There’s a great chance I won’t get the job or perhaps I won’t even want it, but this signifies a step forward… that I really am ready for a change and am taking actions to potentially secure that. We shall see.

Green Eyes, I'm going to reply to your comment soon!