Let's "Conversate": Grosser Than Gross

One of my favorite non-words is “conversate.” The funny thing about it is that people use it trying to sound intelligent… like ooooooh, look at this big word I can throw around… but really it’s not even a word, and maybe if they spent more time out of the audience on Maury Povich, then maybe just maybe they could figure out that “conversate” and “irregardless (if he was cheating on you with his mom)” are NOT words. (As you can see on my short vacation home in San Diego, I watched cable daytime tv).

This brings us to my use of the non-word.

At lunch today, some cohorts and I were “conversating” about some very important topics at lunch. Some of them have answers, but some of them unfortunately have left us pondering.

To Ponder:

1. What are the negative implications from eating another person’s feces?
- Contracting Hepatitis
- Having eaten shit
- Doesn’t taste good
- But what else?

2. Licking asshole, what’s the proper etiquette?
- I like having my asshole licked while he’s rubbing the clitoris, but this is a rough topic to address with a partner. If they aren’t doing it naturally, how can I ask?
- Is it reasonable to just lick a person’s asshole without bringing it up first?
- Hairy asshole, I haven’t really run into a hairy asshole yet, but I don’t have too much experience licking ass to know how to dive in.

3. Would I rather drink a pint of snotty lugees (sp?) or clotty period blood (both of another person’s)?
- The texture of both seem hard to swallow, literally.

4. What do men think when they rub their sweaty balls and smell their hands? You know they do it. And they complain about pussy smelling like fish tacos cooking in a hot room with no open windows.

Definitiveness’:

Sex on the period is okay, assuming it’s toward the tail end. Oral sex on the period with a tampon is okay with me assuming that he begs for it, why deprive?

Thank God:

Thank God I have a new favorite phrase, “you’re dead to me.” It’s a great way of ending a conversation. For instance, the other person, “talk talk talk talk talk.” You, “you’re dead to me,” as you’re turning around and walking away. It’s very effective.

Update:

Just spent sometime with the folks and sisters in San Diego. My younger sister paid me a lovely compliment, “MissCurious, at school I’m able to give my friends plenty of shit because I trained with the best of them… you.” The Brother bought me a welcome home flower and card. He’s a little sweetie. Of course, we’re still just dating / hanging out nothing too serious… just checking out one another.