Must Love Sweat, Spit, and Ass.

During the courtship period, I have a set of ‘deal breakers’. In my older age, the list has significantly diminished, rather instead of being ‘deal breakers’ the majority of them have turned into ‘strikes’ against him. The standard questions and preferred answers or interpretations:

1. How do you feel about homosexuals?
Love them.
2. Do you drive standard or automatic?
Standard. (this denotes masculinity. Control of his own destiny.)
3. Have you ever cheated?
If yes, how old and under what circumstance? And you’re an ass.
4. Do you LOVE eating pussy?
Yes. Love the juice dripping down my chin.
5. How do you feel about sweat, spit, and ass?
Love, love, and love.
6. How many sexual partners have you had?
A lot. (this figure must be higher than my number, but under 70)

This brings us to number 6, a situational question. “If we were at a bar and man comes up behind me and gropes me, how do you handle the situation?”

I want him to say that he’ll get pissed and give the guy a push and shove and yell and pull me close to him, and if need be, slug the guy. Of course these are irrational responses and no good could potentially come from them, but I would feel vindicated. I would feel protected and secured and loved.

After seeing Four Brothers last night with The Brother, we discussed what we’d do if someone harmed the other or a family member or a good friend. I have extreme responses. I have a temper. I am my real father’s daughter. I have some rage in my blood. I like thinking a man would turn protective. Get pissed when I get pissed. Having that type of personality doesn’t mean he’ll always fly off the handle. I’ve definitely dated men where they answered the question as I’d hoped, and I got just a general protective (sweet and comforting protective) vibe not a ‘oh fuck is he going to mad about this and that’ vibe.

Well, in the nature of relationships, most men won’t live up to my unrealistic expectations, surprise, but I can separate the “dividing differences” from the “well, I’d prefer if he drove stick” differences. I do, however, have to learn that I can’t jump down someone’s fucking throat if he says he wouldn’t start a bar fight in my honor. Hm, funny.