You Know You're a Ho.

Before we talk "HO's", let's a do a quick lil' post blog wrap-up:

Don't be confused by my occasional serious notes here and there, like “it should be illegal for me to have friends”… I know it seems as though I over-analyze every last detail, and well, okay, I guess that’s kind of true, alright very true, but for the majority of the day, I think about burping, farting, and vaginas.

Also, there is that one person that affects me, ooooh… a ton… that would be my wife, midge. If we’re arguing, I hate everyone and everything around me. He loves bitches and with me, he has a bitch... I’m a stubborn everything my way bitch – a bitch anyway you see it. I was born that way, bitchy, that is. This isn’t my get of jail free card… just means I need a little more work than the non-bitches. All I can do is try punks :)!

Let’s move onto more important subjects like “what makes a ho a ho?”

This is what yesterday’s super profound lunchtime discussion encompassed (so a thank you to my grosser than gross partner in crime):

You know you’re a ho when you go to the gynecologist and the industrial sized speculum falls out.

You know you’re a ho when to you ‘gang bang’ means you can fuck 300 guys all at the same time.

You know you’re a ho when you find that guy, you thought didn’t call you back, up your kooch 2 weeks later.

You know you’re a ho when the only way you can douche is by standing over an opened fire hydrant.

You know you’re a ho when phlegm to you is that cum wad from two minutes ago.

You know you’re a ho when your labias can flap open and flap you from California to New York.

You know you’re a super ho when you can fly all your friends from California to New York on your labias.

Thank God:

Thank God, I'm not a Ho.... the industrial sized speculum just hangs on in me, but it hangs on, nonetheless.

Shout Out's:

If you haven't already read yesterdays comments, check out Anonymous Wendi's post... that girl could write a blog solely on the shit her fiance says and does... (wind machine?!?).

J-Do - Wish I knew what to say.... when you're ready, we should do a ladies night out!