Lite Rock, Less Loud You Stupid Motherfuckers!

The White Trash K.O.I.T bandits. They live next door to me. I hate them. I fucking hate them. I especially hate them at 3:30 am when they blast Love Songs After Dark on KOIT. Who really needs to hear Lionel Richie sing, “Once, twice, three times a lady,” in the middle of the fucking night?!?!? Secondly, you know they’re fucking crazy-ass tweak’ers if they’re listening to Lite Rock, Less Talk on KOIT. I mean these guys are chub-white-men who repeat their sentences, “live and learn man – live and learn,” “I hear that dude – I hear that,” and wear red bandanas and ugly jeans... I mean, these do not look like Lite Rock folk... they look like ACDC air guitar beer drinking bearded men. C'mon now, what the fuck? They must be seriously fucked to be blasting that kind'a shit. Lite Rock is gynecologist waiting room music. Jesus!

They’ve done this for the past 2 nights in a row. They’ve been doing this relatively often for the past month. I’d say something if they couldn’t hop onto my fire escape from their balcony and come kill me or steal all my cd’s… oh wait, I don’t have their lite rock bullshit. Instead I do all the pass aggressive shit, like open and close my window… turn my lights on and off. I’d call the police, but I don’t know what apartment they’re in and their 5-plex has a gate at the bottom with no doorbells and shit.

So I feel fucking stuck.

I lie there for two hours thinking how I want to buy eggs and get onto my roof and throw them at their bearded faces. Or in the morning when they’re asleep, set a battery operated boom-box on their balcony with Nine Inch Nails blasting. 3:30 – 5:30 am those motherfuckers kept me up. I fucking hate them. Maybe I should just risk my life and belongings to tell them to shut the hell up. UH!!! ARGHH!!!!

Okay, tonight’s the night. If they’re blasting Richard Marx and Luther Vandross, they’re fucking dead meat. Or well, maybe I’ll be dead.