Other People's Boyfriends

I hate that all my friends' boyfriends hate me... okay, maybe not hate, but certainly fear... I'm the perpetual single girl whose open fuck-talk and drunken escapades make them fearful of what their girlfriends will do when they're out with me.

Little do they know that I encourage their girls to: apologize, give more blow-jobs, understand where "he's coming from" ... and I swoop in on any advances from sleezey (and not sleezey) boys... in fact, if I see a friend getting too intimate w/ a guy, I can't even enjoy myself because all I want to do is break it up... all I do is watch her from the corner of my eye when I know she's getting a little more tipsy than my own drunk-self.... I also unflinchingly lay into the girl if she even for a split second considers another man... I've been known to be slightly harsh on my friends for these reasons.

I'm certainly not perfect, but I've never cheated on a boyfriend. I am whole-heartedly against it. For a split second, I too have considered it, but reprimanded my ownself for doing so. I actually have a sanctimonious attitude when it comes to these types of things.... Me, yes me, Miss Curious - the moral police? well, I do believe in living a life of integrity -- honesty - heart - respect --- allow as much room for error as I possibly can.

And here I am, getting shit-talked by the boyfriends.

I bring this up because I received a panicked phone call from a friend this weekend (I often do). She was having the usual problems with the boy... this particular boy thinks I'm a bad influence. He worries that when she goes out with me she'll partake in inappropriate acts... soooo NOT the case. Can I say -- Insecure Boyfriend??!?! Why would your girlfriend that you love and respect have a best friend that is of questionable integrity? Why would she have a best friend that is blind to common sense?

But anyway, little does this boyfriend know that most of my conversations with his girlfriend entail the, "understand where he's coming from... you should probably apologize... he needs this reassurement... he's worth it." I wonder though -- is he worth it? Hm. Well, despite his poor perception of me, I still think he's worth it. He's definitely good for her. And so he has a bad - bad - bad opinion of me, I can still be reasonable... I understand why he may feel that way -- I am pretty liberal... I am pretty insane... and he hasn't had the time to get to know me (they live in a foreign country), and if he did, perhaps he'd understand where I stand on issues of the heart -- issues of loyalty -- strong loyalty.

It's just frustrating at times. I respect my female friends immensely. I realize that their boyfriends/husbands are a big part of their lives. I wish the boyfriends didn't think ill of me.