I Did It All For The High-Tops, Yeah, The High-Tops, Yeah!

Is he a dick or isn’t he? Before meeting, I informed him that I’m a curvy girl. At his house the first night, I told him I didn’t have a regular exercise regiment nor was I a morning person, which meant I’d most likely not go with him to his 6 am boot-camp.

With this knowledge our kissing began. His compliments of “I love your body,” “you drive me crazy,” “you’re stunning” poured out of his mouth. During our smooching break he asked me if I had casual sex a lot and if that was what I was looking for… before I could even answer, he said he was NOT looking for casual sex… he did NOT want sex unless it was with someone with whom he could have a relationship. He thought San Francisco girls were very liberal, and he liked sex only if it meant something. That’s when he told me he had only 12 partners (totally fine number – just less than my own). I didn’t volunteer my number (19-22ish).

He thought I was “super cool,” and he wanted to see where this was going. On the drive home, he said thee, “I want to take you here,” “I want to take you there.” My eyes widened… my thoughts were screaming, “jesus Christ, we’ve had one fucking date… and he has our entire relationship outlined!!!” My chest tightened, but I passed it off as, “hmm, he’s kind of a sweet BOY.”

The next day his emails had clips of, “I loved being with you last night… I could kiss you all day and all night…” “ I can’t wait to see you!” Blah blah blah!

The second date: I arrived at his house and was greeted with Baby-Talk, “don’t I get a kiss?” with a juvenile pouty face… in my head, “oh my god, cut the fucking Baby-talk I want to gag… and that pouty face – don’t make me feel like a pedophile kissing some fucking child… ew!”

Later in the evening, he gave me his SOB STORY… it worked… I fell into that, “you sweet boy – let me make everything okay…” the SOB STORY was immediately followed by making out… clothing removal… and then SEX.

The next morning… he asks how many people with whom I’ve slept… I truthfully answered… AND THEN HE REVEALED HIS OWN TRUTH --- “I’ve actually had sex with around 60 women, maybe more… NOT 12 like I told you last night!!!!!”

He even showed me the track mark from recently getting tested and that he regularly gets tested – BECAUSE HE HAS SO MUCH FUCKING CASUAL SEX WITH THOSE FUCKING LIBERAL SAN FRANCISCAN GIRLS!!! Tells me about fake boobs and ex-football cheerleaders… and suddenly, he painted an entirely new picture of whom I thought he was.

He tells me he was embarrassed about his number and that’s why he hadn’t revealed it earlier. I bought that excuse… but then I did say, “so should I ask you all the questions I’ve asked you over the past couple days AGAIN to find out what else you were embarrassed to tell me?”
He laughed… and said no. But maybe – just maybe – I really should have. And that maybe – just maybe – Miss Skeptical “I’ll fuck you over before you can fuck me over” Curious had just been HAD!!!

I’ve had casual sex or hook-ups before, and it’s been cool sometimes and not cool others… My issue with this situation is the fact that I do believe it was all a ploy to go to bed with the guy… if it was all agreed upon from the beginning that he really was just looking for a “friend” and that he really did have casual sex (please be reminded of his earlier quote – “he did NOT want sex unless it was with someone with whom he could have a relationship”), then maybe I wouldn’t have felt so deceived. Again, I had no problem never seeing the guy anymore – but to think that I was so gullible makes me feel like a slight ASS.

But then, while I was high as a kite last night with Midge, I thought to myself… “wow, I could have very well been part of his little experiment to see what gets girls into bed (sob stories, promises of relationships, baby-talk ‘gross!’)…” but then, I don’t know that I mentioned this before, but on the first night he noticed I had converse on and said he could give me a coupon for a free pair… the second night, he DID give me that coupon, and I’ve already order my Red High-Top Converse… in the end, I got free pair of shoes for participating in his experiment… so really, he ISN’T a DICK… most guys fuck a chick and there’s NO GIFT at the end… just an empty bed and sore pussy… yes, so really, I won in this situation – a good fuck and a pair of shoes. RAD!

Just for the sake of Bitching to Bitch… these were my deal-breakers:

1. The Baby-Talk – I even said, “wow, you sure baby-talk to your cat a lot,” but really this meant, “and stop fucking talking to me in the stupid fucking baby voice!!!”
2. He doesn’t see live music – I saw 17 live shows in 2005… he says he can’t stand watching because he wants to be on stage, LAME!!! When he said this, I almost walked out the door.
3. He never goes to the movies – I’m a movie ADDICT… I can’t fucking wait for the SF Indie Fest in February… I want someone who’d go with me!!!!
4. He has social anxiety – I have almost NONE and want a guy who can hang out with my random groups of friends or fit right in with my family.

So he really did me a favor by leaving… I just LOVE LEAVING FIRST!!! But thank you for the shoes. Such appeasing shoes.

And wow, if I were some guy reading this blog and met me in person, I’d go running the other way. I fucking tear guys a new one. Hm. Am I psychotic Bitch or am I not? Hahahaha! Oh well, fuck you!