Since When Have I Missed An Opportunity to Make Myself Look Bad?!?!

I considered not posting this because it made me look like a pathetic loser... but then I remembered why I started this blog in the first place -- I started it to put moments like these completely behind me... that I can profess my most psychotic insanely stupid moments for people to feel better knowing that there's always someone more ridiculous than they are... but really -- I knew this man was the anti-me, and shouldn't even be worth a moment of my own self-doubt -- and that's why b) from yesterday's post worked fine for me.......... soooo, here it goes, another humbling moment in the day and life of Miss Curious:

Miss Curious:

your text messaging ended abruptly the other evening, and i haven't heard from you since...... soooo, you'll have to let me know -- have you decided we're just not compatible and that's that? or something else perhaps? please don't worry about hurting my feelings... you were just suddenly gone, and i like conclusions to thingsssssss is all :) ... i hope you're feeling better than the other evening........

Jesus:

Hey there,

Well, I guess I am just not sure. Not sure about me more than anything else. I know it sounds weird. I guess I would rather be friends in the grand scheme of things. But if we can't be that that is fine too. I guess I am looking for someone who doesn't drink much if at all and someone who is athletic. I know that may sound superficial. But, I want to share being athletic with the person I am with. And that is a huge thing for me. It's basically a deal-breaker. (By the way --- I told him before we met that I wasn't a 'work out girl' like he talked so damn much about in his profile -- I said I was a shapely female -- he said no worries)

I think you are an awesome person. Just not exactly right for me I think. I hope you understand. And I hope we can be friends. That is really what I wanted in the first place. Let me know what you think.

~m

Miss Curious:

hahaha... i think we both reached the "not compatible" conclusion, but for different reasons... when i left saturday morning, i knew we'd never be "partners"... which is something i know we both wanted (from someone)... why i continued to contact you was because i liked your couch :) ... i liked kissing you on your couch... and although i'm not typically made/wired for casual dating, the idea of having someone to be locked away with on occasion seemed appealing.... but i couldn't agree with you more -- we're very different in some very important ways -- ways that were also deal breakers for me..... and i suppose i thought we could pretend for a little while at least because there was something about you that made me feel slightly less isolated........ again, however, i knew in the back of my mind that we both have visions of someone else.

you're a very sweet man - too sweet for me ;) - and i wish you the best... i hope you find the confidence and strength in which you seek.

best,
[insert my real name]


It's just soooo classic that I knew I wouldn't want anything with him at all because he had so many qualities that already on the 2nd date annoyed the fuck out of me... but yet, here I am with the tables turned!!! Wanting what I can't have even though I 100% know this person can't even touch me (hahaha, like my arrogance?!!?)... I know I could never tell anyone that this man is "AMAZING" --- as my punk little sister, Midge, and I always quote from Dream for an Insomniac:

"Anything less than mad, passionate, extrodinary love is a waste of your time. There are too many ordinary things in life, love shouldn't be one of them."