I'm a Fake... Sometimes

Since Jesus has been the topic of conversation for this week, let’s discuss the one last biting remark I wish I would have said…

AND, I FAKED IT!!!!!

Just as all men measure their cocks… all women, fake orgasms (at one point or another). I know all the usual arguments against faking orgasms – such as:

a) He’ll never know what actually makes you orgasm
b) Why give the guy a false sense of triumph (they look so happy when they think they’ve made you cum – and it’s pretty much a big fat lie – wait, scratch ‘pretty much’ – it IS a lie)
c) Why even bother?
d) If he finds out, he’ll be devastated and question all orgasms from then on…

So, why do we do it? Let’s use the other evening with Jesus as an example. While he was licking my “stuff” down there, it felt lovely…. Just like having your dog lick your pussy would still feel good, I imagine… But anyway, having “your stuff” softly licked will almost always induce a relaxing, arousing, short of breath reaction.

My soft moans – those are real – my twitching – that’s real too – the heavy breathing – all real… as it continues, it feels better and better… your breathing builds (for the men who don’t understand – our breathing actually assists us in completion of the product)… so there you are, twitching, breathing heavily, and you suddenly realize that the orgasm has passed you over… that all the while it felt great and you thought and hoped you could climax, but you realize it’s just not going to happen… but then you look down “there” and see this guy in between your legs… he’s getting all excited thinking he almost has you…. So what, when you realize it’s a ‘no go,’ you just stop and say sorry? But sometimes, you’re so worked up that when you do suddenly stop, he actually thinks he did make you cum…. So why make him think otherwise… why come crashing down on his happy moment?

Basically I fake it when he’s done so much work, and I can’t bear to let him think it was all for naught or I’m just bored and can’t think of a better transition… So really, faking it is a pretty self-less act. Hahahaha!

Friday night… Jesus did put a lot of work into eatin’ the puss’, and I rewarded him by lying… because I’m just so fucking MiSS Sweet CuriouS.

A couple questions for the ladies:

- Why do you fake it?
- How often have you faked it?
- Has a guy ever realized that you’ve faked it?

A couple questions for the guys:

- Have you ever realized a girl’s faked it?
- Would you prefer all the work knowing in a split second she’ll just stop you because it ain’t gonna happen?
- Please Note: women are really really really fucking good at faking it, so don’t think it’s NEVER happened to you because IT HAS!!!!