How I'm Like A Gay Man

So we have some "hate-a's"... well, I admitted this the other night to some friends. As pissed as I was at the time about the condom incident (please refer to the: Useless Heartache post on Dec 7th, scroll down to THE GOODS section at the bottom)... okay, wait just a second... I've been in a couple of relationships where my sex drive was a bit higher than my male counterpart... these male counterparts were oooh, about 10 years older... The Englishman is about 3.5 years younger, shit, wow.

Anyway, The Englishman bangs a chick twice before I arrive... in that 4 to 5 hour period since I'd last seen him... I was naturally hurt... later, however, I was like 'hmm... that's kinda' hot... he was so horny he couldn't even resist... wow.'

One of my good gay male friends said (maybe I've alreayd written this, but anyway), "Miss Curious, in the gay-man's world, we'd see the condom... put two and two together and be like, 'haaaaaaaay, is that guy still here? He should join us.' "

Part of me is like, 'fuck, why didn't I think of that?!?!' That's what makes me a slightly fucked in the head woman. Oh well.

Sure it was disrespectful, kinda' dick, whatever. We weren't committed... I was leaving in a day, and who knows when we'd ever see one another again... it was just fun times anyway. I can be disappointed 'cuz I didn't get to fuck him that night, as I had to act like I had some self-respect, hahaha.

But really, it's not like anything's ever going to come of this except for a few masturbatory fantasies... and drunkenly sinking into a cold cab seat at the end of the night thinking of how lovely it'd be to go home to his warm body.