A Mad World

Again, How Can I Complain:

The other night I was chatting with my cab driver, naturally. Since I’m an insane question-asker, we somehow ended up discussing how he tested positive years ago. He then went on to tell me that even worse than finding out he was positive was the morning he woke up totally hung-over and sleeping beside a strange woman. He hadn’t used protection. He hadn’t disclosed his status to the woman. He said – yeah that was hard. He did the “Dear John” letter that clinics will do if a person has trouble telling a person to their face.

But wow, can you imagine?

I simply replied in my Southern Californian accent, “wow, dude… that’s nuts. I can’t even imagine.”

Then we went on to discuss his drug problems and how he finally has it under control. Of course, he mentioned that he still does the occasional bump in the bathroom.

It was an interesting conversation to say the least. But then, he’s not the first person I’ve had that conversation with… the other wasn’t a cab driver.

Anyway, it's just these things... these things in our world... these challenges... this sadness.

Madness and Sadness:

Last night as I was listening to my tunes, I thought about my annoyance that Nine Inch Nails has yet to announce its North American Tour.

This thought then led to thoughts of people swarming amphitheaters, coliseums, stadiums, and expansive lawns all to see this band or these bands.

And when songs like Hurt are played, the thousands upon thousands of people all sing in unison,

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real…

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

People at those shows scream these lyrics… scream these lyrics as though they’re speaking solely to them… that that song was written for them… and they listen to those songs in their rooms at night and feel sadness or anger or hurt.

But when I arrive at these shows, I look around me. People are immersed in conversations drinking their Bud Lights and chuckling and flirting. They all seem happy. Yet, they all sing these sad-sad lyrics. And it's not just the Nine Inch Nails folks... it's all those kids who called in to make Johnny Cash's version of HURT top the TRL charts on MTV.

So then, is everyone hurting? Is everyone feeling alone?