Porn and Pathetic

All guys look at porn. Just like all guys measure their cocks. It’s a plain and simple truth.

The other day I had lunch with a male friend of mine. He relayed the story of the last argument he got into with his live-in girlfriend. Apparently he ordered porn online and meant to have it sent to work, but he messed up. Before he got home, his girlfriend opened the package (um, don’t get why a chick would do that, seriously). She opened whatever the hell porn it was and then freaked out on his ass.

She had the usual questions and concerns of: Am I not satisfying you enough? Am I not pretty enough? Do you have some porn addiction?

But then, she won’t blow him. She won’t let him go down on her. She never initiates sex. She never wants to have sex. So, men who inherently have significantly higher libidos need some outlet. Since men have like no imagination (just kidding), jerking off to the few images they can conjure up just gets old.

They need some fresh new material.

Frankly, them indulging in some sort of porn is a good sign. It means that they probably aren’t going anywhere else. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but it’s a reasonable thought.

Anyway, I ask a lot of questions. People seem to be pretty open with me, so I’ve learned how common the use of porn is with men. It’s normal. It really is. But, with anything over-indulgence I’m sure can be a problem. Here and there, no worries.

I wonder what percentage of women actually buy porn. If anyone’s gonna’ buy it, it’s me. But not even I am really stimulated by visual porn. I do like female erotic, but that’s all words. Hmm. That’d be an interesting study. Well, I’m sure someone somewhere has already done that.


BOYS – BOYS – BOYS

Antonio’s a piece of shit I decided. The first night we hung out he was crazy, “let’s hang out… come visit me in such and such state… what are you doing tomorrow night? Wanna’ hang out? I’ll call you after work.”

Did I get a phone call? Of course not. I even got a bit of the ICK’s when he was overly interested. Yikes!

Then, I bumped into him a day later at his place of business. Again, he says, “Can I call you after work?”

I told him sure why not.

Any phone calls? NOPE!!!

Of course, he’s all the more attractive now that he’s not calling. And seriously, what the fuck? Why ask me what I’m doing? Why continuously say you’re going to call? He could have just left my house and told me he had a good time. I know he’s moving. I have no expectations of taking this any further than a very convenient fling (he works AND lives right around the corner from my house). He could have even just said, “hey, I’ll give you a call soon.” Not have been so specific about saying when we’re going to hang out and when he’s going to call me.

He’s fucking LA-AME!!!

Well, I’ve deleted his number, so I don’t accidentally drunk dial his stupid ass. And so, we write Antonio off the blog. Yes, DRA-MATIC of me (I recognize this), but I just don’t get dudes. I just don’t get them at all.

Speaking of dudes I just don’t get, if Bam’s blog name wasn’t so conveniently short, I’d rename him, Hot and Cold. One week, he’s emailing and calling all the time to make sure I’m doing well. The next week he totally ignores me. That was even the case in our relationship.

I really need to write him off this blog too.

But of course, this weekend is the birthday of the dude who set us up. He might get some people together (MIGHT). If that’s the case, Bam might be there. And I foolishly cannot wait to see him. I’ve already started thinking of what I’m going to wear. I then feel like such a pathetic dumbass. Sheesh. Miss Curious write him off - write him off

Ewww. I have a magnet on my file drawer that says, “Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.”

Frankly, I’d really enjoy doing this at that time. Let’s work on writing these boys off completely. They need to be Goo Gone’d!!!


WHY ARE WE ATTRACTED TO CERTAIN DUDES?

I had a conversation with my psychiatrist dad last night. Since he and my mom were the unfortunate catalysts for my obsession with propagation of the species, I asked him why, if we know some dude would make a poor provider and poor father to our children… and the meaning of our attractions to the opposite sex is supposedly for successful propagation, then, why do we keep going back to those jerk-offs?

First off, how in the world does my dad know everything about everything? (well, he is pretty effin’ brilliant and is fascinated by everything, so he learns everything about everything)

Turns out he’s read some study on this a while back. The details are fuzzy, but apparently attraction is based on a couple of things the first being an imprint of a relationship during ones youth. How far back into one’s youth is another question.

So, this explains why women who’ve had alcoholic or abusive fathers find themselves with that type of man.

Or, they say men always marry their moms. My dad, for instance, grew up with a dominant mother. His father pretty much did whatever she wanted. And so, my mom is a dominant mother, and he has assumed the role of his father.

Then, however, I used the example of The Bachelor. Yes, cheesey. Anyway, if he’s introduced to 25 gorgeous by anyone’s standard women, and on the first night he gets minimal interaction with them, why does he choose to keep one over the other.

First, we can say that he’s attracted to certain features (why that too? Imprint of our youth?), but if he loves brown haired brown eyed chicks, why does he get rid of half of them?

My dad says that we aren’t aware of all the little characteristics we like. That those little things are imprinted within us. Examples include, small ears or feet. STRANGE. Guess this sorta’ explains why on the first night I bumped into Antonio at a bar, he commented on my small feet. Every time I saw him since then, he kept commenting on them.

Weird.

Chemistry though. How does that work?

Well, I could write a whole lot more about what he said, but I’ve already talked your ears off… if people really read this anyway, hahaha!

POST BLOG WRAP-UP:

Write-off the punk-bitch boys. They are so Dun-zo!!!