Touching Texts

Do guys text each other? For some reason, I don’t see texting as a guy thing. I can understand texting updates on games / scores, etc, but as a form of communication, I don’t see it.

When I see a guy texting on a bus or at a bar or wherever, I automatically assume he’s texting a chick. Chick’s are into texting. I love seeing a guy grin when he reads a text. The chick who’s texting him is on one end, and there I am, staring at some strange dude on the bus, who’s receiving her text. I get to see his reaction. I get to see him light up at the sight of her words. I also get to see him text back and then continuously check to see if she’s texted back yet.

On another note, I always have a hard time grasping that a guy is thinking about me when I’m not there. It’s a strange concept to be in someone’s thoughts. When a guy I haven’t spoken to in a while calls or emails me, I wonder what it was that made him think about me. I wonder how the conversation went in his head where he felt compelled to take action and call me.

I know I said I was going to write him off my blog, but today, I’m thinking about him. About Bam. I dramatically ended my friendship with him. Did I mention that? This one evening we set up a phone date because I had some questions for him. He didn’t pick up the phone and didn’t call me back.

I knew the next morning I was going to get an email with him apologizing for not being around and why he wasn’t around. That’s what he always does. And there, in my inbox was that email. I realized that our “friendship” was based on his time and his terms. He could always reach me, but I could never reach him. Doesn’t Mr. Big say that in Sex and the City? I don’t have caller ID at work, so he’d get me at work. Grr!!! I desperately wanted him to call me just so I could look at the phone and NOT pick-up. How ridiculous is that? I then wanted to be the person the next morning who apologized for not being around and giving him some lame-ass excuse like, “I was shaving my legs and couldn’t get to the phone. After that, it took me a really long time to lotion them up, and I was exhausted, so I hit the sack.”

‘Cuz really, that’s the bullshit he’d feed me.

I then sent him this vitriolic email with no punctuation because I was ranting and not breathing. I ended it with saying, “I’m over this.”

His rebuttal was in a pleasant pissed tone to which I simply replied, “whatever Bam.”

Needless to say, things didn’t end well. A few days later he emailed me about my parents in SoCal to make sure they were okay. It was sweet, and I thanked him.

But whatever, our friendship is totally over and over in a completely immature way thanks to me.

Today, however, I miss him. Today, I wish he were thinking about me. I wish that he didn’t have enough will power to stop him from emailing or calling or texting me.

If a friend were in my shoes, wishing her dude would call, the advice I’d give her was to move on… that the only reason she still thinks about him is that there’s no one else. If she had another prospect, she wouldn’t think twice about him.

So I wonder, is it because there isn’t anyone else that I still think about him? How can one tell?

The other day I went through some of my archives, and I re-read a post about the first night he slept over. I commented on the fact that he kissed my shoulder when he thought I was asleep. Then I started thinking about things he’d say… things he’d text… people who know me can probably hear this tone when I say, “who says that?” In a very good way. No one’s ever said some of the amazing – okay here’s a cheesy word, but it fits – “touching.” The things he’d say were “touching.”

Sheesh. Why am I thinking about him today? Why? What made me think of him?

Oh wait. Texting. He used to send me the cutest texts that I’d read over and over. I liked picturing the look on his face as he was writing them. I hoped he was smiling.