Single and Straight?
Okay, I’ll admit, I check dudes out and try to assess whether or not they’re single or gay.
1. If he’s walking a cute little fluffy dog or Chihuahua, he has that dog because his girlfriend chose it or because he’s gay. If it turns out he’s straight, I personally wouldn’t want some pussy dude walking a frilly animal, so single and straight don’t matter in such a case.
2. If he’s walking two dogs, then I think he stays home with the dogs and his girlfriend. Two dogs are a big commitment, and a single guy is out too much trying to get laid and doesn’t have the time to take care of two dogs. 2 = pussy whipped at home catering to all three animals.
3. The other night I was at a show. While I was at the bar, I spotted an uber cute boy. But then, I saw he ordered a beer and a VODKA CRAN. If you see a dude ordering a vodka cran, that’s for his chick. Straight dudes don’t order that kinda’ thing. If you see a dude ordering two beers or a variety of beer and/or a brown drink (whiskey or scotch), him being attached is not a given. It’s to be researched further.
4. If he’s wearing a tight shirt where his hard nipples poke through, he’s gay. This is not a metro-sexual trait. He is homosexual. Which is, of course, all good, but he’s just gonna’ run from vaginas.
Anyway, these are a couple thoughts I had the other day.
NOT FUN NEWS:
My parents live in SoCal. My mom’s packing up our pictures and shit right now. I feel totally helpless and don’t know the severity of things. Eeks! Shit, if something happened, fuck. I can’t even imagine. All our neighbors are evacuating. Scary-scary!
posted by MissCurious @ 1:45 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
I hope your folks get through the fires okay. Everything's pretty nasty everywhere down here, including where I am (fires in Irvine) but I've heard things aren't so great in SD county. I'll keep them in my thoughts. It seems like the wind is dying down where I am, so hopefully that's the case further south.
J-Do:
Good luck to you too! What craziness. Apparently the wind changed directions from my parents' house, so they seem to be in the clear... for now.
I hope that everything is okay in SD with your parents house. I know it sucks being far away and feeling helpless.
-Laura
#3 is so right-on, ha ha!
I have my own thoughts about guys and dogs, and I think it's less about the specific breed (the gays LOVE Boston Terriers, and they're not frilly at all) than like, the image they're trying to put forth by having whatever kind of dog they have. Like a guy with a pitbull - maybe it's a super sweet dog and he rescued it from the pound because he's a good guy, OR maybe he got it so he would look tough and intimidating walking it on a big ol' chain because he has a small pee-pee!!! Dog hair is also a consideration, i.e. I don't think I could date a dude with a St. Bernard or a Husky in a NY apartment. FUR EVERYWHERE!!!!!
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