Sometimes I Love Myself

I want a lead singer… More like, that’s what I think I want. This is the reason I’ll be single forever. After going to Nine Inch Nails this weekend (for free ‘cuz sometimes I’m a person who knows people… but most of the time I’m not, hahaha), I once again fell in love with Trent Reznor. And there he is with this unbelievable presence… and every girl in the room wants him and every guy wants to be him… and who the fuck is the girl that gets to fuck him every night? Who the fuck is she? And why isn’t she me?

And I stood there in awe of him, wanting him so badly like some teeny-bopper obsessed fan and realized how I could never be satisfied unless I conquered someone like Trent Reznor. But I know if I had him, my life would be following him around… he’d be like every musician I’ve ever dated where they’re so fucking important, blah blah blah. And although I can say that aloud, I still want him – I want the lead singer – I can’t get the idea of anything less than a lead singer is a waste of time out of my head. And sooo, I’ll always want what’s not best for me… and whenever I have something else, I’ll always be looking over his shoulder for Trent Reznor.

Small World:

On my way home from the show... thousands of people took BART home... and who do I run into?? DV, naturally. We sat together and chatted... he of course was his usual condescending self... I said something to the effect of "there's no better feeling in the world than feeling [this and that] at a live show."... he replies with some, "well duh, everybody feels that." Of course... but whatever... i just rolled my eyes... we got off at the same BART stop, and he lingered to see if I'd invite him over for a fuck... i thought about it for a minute... then thought, Um No - 'cuz he'd want to spend the night.... and wow, i'm like some guy who just wants sex and then his bed to himself... no cuddling... no funny business... just straight sex.

MySpace Update:

I read this guys profile, let’s call him Tricked You (you’ll see why soon). But anyway, I thought he was fucking hilarious… he kept saying how RAD and AWESOME he was… and I love arrogance and the use of RAD. I started to forward him to Green Eyes to see what she thought… amidst writing her a quick note on the forward, I realized that I hadn’t clicked forward, but was writing him an email. I was thankful that I had caught my mistake, but then I thought about it a little more… and I decided to send him the message:

hey [GREEEN EYES],

check out this guy's profile... he uses my favorite word RAD... and says he's awesome (oh wait, that means he probably isn't?)... you could cajole him into dinner and when he says he takes tae kwon do, you can ask him about karate all night... "let's get back to karate..." girl, stop beatin' around the bush and get yo'self a date already :) hahaha. let me know what you think.

He fell for my brilliant ploy:

I think it's cute that you tried to forward me to your friend but accidentally emailed me instead… (he continues... blah blah blah) - [Tricked You] (the perfect name as i clearly tricked him for those of you that don't catch on quickly, hahaha)

And so our conversation has begun. It’s more of a playful banter right now… discussing homeless people and retards… the usual. We’ll see if it amounts to anything, but I can certainly tell he’s no shy guy.