Womanhood.

Back from the land of the dead…

The period. It can go fuck itself. Yesterday I could feel that disgusting wetness in between my chubba thighs. As always, it was a surprise, so I was unprepared. Luckily, my co-worker still has her 2nd drawer stash. I glanced up to be sure no one was looking, and I stuffed it in my pocket.

When I got to the bathroom, I hadn’t even realized that I’d taken a boat; a P.Diddy sized Yacht of an Always Pad With Wings. I looked at the yacht and looked at my G-STRING!?? Putting that pad on a the G-String was pretty much as funny as me even trying to wear a G-String… thinking that my fat-ass somehow looked better with its chub oozing over the sides?

But anway… I had no choice… and I suffered with the excess sticky attaching itself to my pants all night. Yup, discreetly trying to peel the pad off my pants. So fucking fun. Um, no.

I hate periods. I know I’ve mentioned this oh, like once a month. When I first got it, I couldn’t wait to get pregnant just so I could go 9 months without it. But anyway, now that I’ve smartened up and realize pregnancy’s like death… I’m just waiting for Menopause.

Let’s address the “Shy Guy” point J-Do made in one of her comments Post-MySpace Date:

I agree. In the past I indeed have dated many shy guys. However, in the end, their shy behavior became an issue for me. Yes, I do like having space in a relationship and having things that are just mine… but I want a partner in every sense of the word. My shy guys would be difficult if I asked them to go to functions… they always nixed the Christmas parties, friends’ birthdays, housewarmings… pretty much any function that involved another person aside from the two of us. I was queen-solo... no one ever really knew I had a boyfriend... haha.

I want someone who’s comfortable around my bosses and parents and old people… and is excited to meet my friends… someone where my friends are like, “oh yeah, he’s soo for Miss Curious.”

And sure I’m probably really picky, but I’ve found things that work and things that don’t… and sure the other day Peace Corps L. reminded me of her, oh like, 3 qualities she wanted in a man and how my qualities were oh like, 3 pages long… literally.

I’ve said this before though… chemistry is huge… someone smarter than me is huger (with words like huger, he doesn’t have to be that smart!)… and a hundred things can be compromised… and I just hope that I’ll know him when I see him… and if I am to be alone forever because I wanted it all, then so be it, right?

Speaking of the “Smarter” thing… Red Hot Thighs (my High School carpool buddy – she can confirm that I’ve always been insane) and I read this article on feminism in our day… some interesting points:

1. Women now want all equality in the workforce and in every aspect essentially, BUT we still want men to pay for our dinners and open our doors. If he doesn’t pay, we’ll hold it against him.

2. Men, perhaps not consciously, choose women that aren’t as intelligent as they are. You often find men marrying their secretaries or subordinates much more frequently than you find women marrying their subordinates.

3. Red Hot Thighs & Miss Curious will NOT marry a man that they are smarter than. I’ve dated one man smarter than me… that’s why he’s not with me anymore (just kidding… but he was smarter than me… That’s Houseboy for those of you who know him.)

4. A death sentence for a woman at a bar is, “I’m going to Harvard Business School.” (Women from Harvard were actually quoted saying this... several of them).

5. The best way to have chicks flock to a man at bar is, “I’m going to Harvard Business School.”

Personally, I want to have all the rights of a man and to not be discriminated against when I get my car fixed (yeah, ladies ban Pep Boys – I should’ve known by the name)…. AND I do, indeed, want my dinners paid for and shoulders rubbed… and diet coke runs while I lie in bed in the middle of night. I want it all.

And, I will NOT marry a man who isn’t smarter than me… again, not like that’s hard, but oddly, there haven’t been that many… hahahha!

Oh man, I have to start working on that second date!!!