RED EYES

Soon I’ll have to change the color of my eyes on my driver’s license to Red. As I close my eyes to relieve them, I recall my weekend, and how I could possibly get back to where it started. I hate Mondays.

FRIDAY:

It was one of those holidays that most 20 something’s know nothing about, but we’re only happy that we get off work early. Being a movie addict, I couldn’t resist the opening of Derailed. Part of me wishes that I had resisted. It had some entertaining twists and turns, but rent this one. After that, my wife Midge and I caught Chicken Little. Thumbs up to that. And yeay, the studio next door was fucking quiet… excellent!

SATURDAY:

My weakness took the best of me, and I called The Brother. “Let’s put the past behind us and pretend like we’re adults… and we can just be friends.” I then asked if we could meet up Sunday for brunch. He agreed. Later that evening, Red Hot Thighs and I took in some wine and Laguna Beach re-runs.

Since I love guns (um, no), the bus ride home was particularly enjoyable. It was midnight and on one hand alone, I could count the number of people riding on the bus. As we cross Market onto 18th Street, the bus suddenly stops. Cop cars surrounded the area. Some guy a few seats ahead said, “oh my god, that’s an automatic rifle,” and the pussy ducked down in his seat. Of course, the lesbian at the front of the bus, was like, “oh cool.”

My mind flashed back to La Sassy’s bus ride when she heard gunshots… everyone on her bus suddenly got nervous… the bus stopped anyway… and the ill-fated sound began, “beep-beep-beep,” the bus lowered to let some old lady with her walker get on. LaSassy’s mind, “keep going – don’t stop the bus – that old lady’s on death’s door anyway – save the rest of us.” (well, something like that, hahaha!)

But anway, I saw the green lights flash on and the bus doors open. Us passengers eagerly awaited this motherfucker to get on the bus… and low and behold it was a cop with his automatic rifle. He got on, scanned the bus, and gave us the okay to move ahead.

As we kept on down the street, we passed more and more cops with their flashlights, looking under cars and in dark alleys. A manhunt. To this day, I still have no idea what that was about. Hahhaa. Anti-climactic end, eh?

SUNDAY:

Brunch with The Brother. We ate, we laughed, and went our separate ways. There was nothing awkward. It was just like old times. He again apologized for the 2 hour deal and said he was really happy I’d called. I’m sure we’ll hang out again, but I know where I stand and I’m not vulnerable for much hurt, right now.

Later that night… Although the studio directly next to mine has blessed me with their quietness… the KOIT Bandits have more than made up for the Studio’s absence. Please be reminded that the KOIT White Trash Bandits have been a thorn in my side for almost 2 months. Late night music 3:30 – 5:30 am… now all times of the night and morning. Never during the day. So, shortly I plan to go to the Mission Police Station to discuss my options… My fire-escape is directly linked to the KOIT Bandits who live in the next building. One of the members last night chose to make the following comments at 1:30 am… then 5 am… then 7 am:

“You fucking bitch… get ready for a date with a bullet.”
“I know your habits, I know where you work, I know your family… we’re going to come down hard on you.”
“Don’t mess with the Cartel.”
(the date with a bullet was used last month to a neighbor who told them to shut up… I don’t know who the Bitch is, but I’m sure every woman on the block thinks it’s her… even me.)

“It’s 7 am bitch. Wake up. That’s right. Get ready to be Gang Raped.”
“I’m part of the Aryan skinheads. We’re gonna pass you around Bitch.”

And on and on and on.

Needless to say, I slept with my phone attached to my hand. My chest was tight all night. I couldn’t call the police because the second I pointed out the problem, the problem would be looking straight at me… and then I’d really be that Bitch.

I don’t scare easily… but I was fucking scared all night. Tonight, I will not be sleeping at my house. I don’t care to sleep there any-fucking-more. So what, I’m going to have to move AGAIN!?!?! What the fuck?!?!?! I mean, really. This KOIT shit has been going on too long… and clearly these ARE NOT people that can be spoken to rationally.

These days I’m starting to hate the city.

“All the animals come out at night - whores, skunk pussies, buggers, queens, fairies, dopers, junkies, sick, venal. Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets…. Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up.”

-Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver