He Makes Me Purrrrrr.

He makes me want to purrrrrr. I don’t know what it is, but Lick My Face just has this “thing,” you know that “thing” that some people have… and his “thing” makes me want purrr.

Saturday night before going to see some live music with Green Eyes, my friend Red Hot Thighs and I decided to go to Cheers. Both Lick My Face and Obsession were working. I got there before RHT, so I sat at the bar by myself while I waited. I accidentally sat in some chick’s section of the bar… and just asked for water until RHT got there… both boys came up to me at separate times and asked if I wanted a drink (please be reminded that neither worked my section – basically, they LOVE me)… Let me refer back to Lick My Face and I about a month ago, when I told him, “sorry I’m so awkward… I get all awkward when I drink.” He replied a courteous, “you weren’t awkward.”

What does he say when he comes up to me?!?! “Hey, I miss our awkward visits.” Ewww… cute and embarrassing… he clearly remembered… and the way he says things… he’s just so fucking smooth… BUT, he never looks at me… like I’ve said before, everything he does, he does without looking at me… like spraying me with water or wiping my face or licking my face or telling me, “he hasn’t even begun to make me wet…” He just gives me this side smirk while he’s making drinks or wiping off the counter… and then he moves on.

It’s that side smirk that does it for me… it just makes me want to fucking purrrrr… to give him my “come hither” look… clench my jaw and eat him alive. Uh. Mmmmm, more like it.

Later, he super-sized a drink for me, and when he accidentally started to fill it with water, he, without hesitation, grabbed some top-shelf vodka and filled it up.

Anyway, the second I got there I was suddenly on fire for this boy… and I realized that it being such a busy night and having a different waitress wouldn’t give me many opportunities to charm this man. And of course every time he approached me, I couldn’t think of anything witty to say. I mean, he held up the hose as though he was going to spray me again, and I just looked at him like a dumbfuck – why couldn’t I have said something like, “I bet you’d love to spray me with your hose.” ?!??!! I mean, where’s the fucking wit when I need it?

For the rest of the night, not many more opportunities presented themselves, and RHT and I needed to be somewhere, so I couldn’t even say good-bye… and then I’m left with all these obsessive thoughts… when will I see him again? What will I do next time to make myself look like even more of a fool? I mean – I’m not kidding about “awkward” it’s like I fucking stumble all over myself… it’s like that side of me that super-glued her finger to her mouse last week is the only side that shows when I’m around him. Fuck.

KingKong Update:

We all know how King Kong ends… and it’s not happily ever after. My encounter with KingKong came to an end. As much as I would have liked to drag it out and have a Pretty In Pink make-out PAL, I knew how he was beginning to feel… naturally, he was falling hard for the Miss Curious.

While he was in Seattle, he texted me a couple of times… telling me he was thinking of me… and he asked if we could hang out the day he got back… I texted back saying I didn’t think it was the best idea because the lines were beginning to blur… he didn’t respond. The next day he texted again asking “so what time should I bring over a movie?” I reiterated that it wasn’t a good idea… I reminded him that the reason I hadn’t wanted to meet in the first place was that I wanted to lay low…. And now that things weren’t falling into that category, I couldn’t keep doing this… I apologized profusely… Like KingKong, he is so sweet and innocent, but he’s just not right for me… and I have so much going on in my head… speaking of which:

Still Up in the Air:

- Job Situation
- Housing Situation – partially dependent upon job situation
- Location – here, down south?

And then, Midge is moving across the country… and I lost another confidante to Christianity… and now I feel like I need a fucking break!!! Uh. Bleh.

Here are some photos of me and Midge :-( My gay ex-wife... leaving me forever!!!