Out Of Your League
Dating in your league… not something I’m consciously aware of, but I automatically am attracted to more average funky looking men to match my own appearance. And I do know that on the street if I see an attractive male walking with a woman, I will always check her out… rather size her up… I’ll make that quick judgment of, “what a disgustingly cute couple,” or “oooh, maybe I’d have a chance with that guy if he’s attracted to her.” Wow. What a bitch am I?
But then, if I’m dating someone more attractive than me, I often wonder what others think while we’re walking on the street. But I get over that pretty quickly and ascribe it to the fact that I have fucking unequivocal wit and charm. But anyway, you have to have one or the other…. Good looks or a really good personality… if you have both, you’re pretty much at the top of the food chain.
But anyway, all this came about because a friend of mine made a comment about a guy she knows… “doesn’t he know to date in his own league!?!” My eyes widened, and I thought, “wow. That’s right. We all kind of automatically date in our leagues.” And that comment that men are always saying to each other, “Dude, she’s so out of your league.” This really is a funny concept. That we have leagues. That there are just some people we know we’ll never date because they are aesthetically so OUT of our leagues. Are the people we date reflections of who we think we are?
This is Naughty Nadia. (my older sister... she and I have always had different leagues)
This is Nadia's League.
This is ME.
This is My League. (I think)
posted by MissCurious @ 10:01 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
I like your guy better :)
xoxo Linz
So do I! Also, you do have unequivocal wit and charm ... funny thing, I just had a convo with a coworker who I was talking to about this guy I made out with and I said "is that disgusting?" And she said "he's less disgusting than *Joe* ... you were WAY out of *Joe's* league, I think that's why he broke up with you."
Is this a thing? Did any of you peeps (especially guys) ever dump someone because you thought THEY were out of YOUR league? That is strange to me.
I am and have always been hyper-aware of the leagues you speak of. I probably don't give myself enough credit either - I always find some way to put the guy above me, whether it's "his family has more money," or "he's cuter" or "he has a nicer body and a better sense of humor." I mean, I know when I'm outta some guys leage, and I have ended things for that reason, but I find that it usually ends up being the other way around. Who was definitely WAY OUT of my league? JN. He was from a different planet, and not just in terms of looks. In his case, money and the lifestyle of his family played a definite role as well. I thought at first I would fit in his world, after he pretty much acted like he was in love with me for 2 weeks... but after he stopped calling, I got it.
Of course now I'm happy he ended it when he did, so I could move on to better things! One of m's friends told me he was out of my league, and she was right... but I think that's ok this time. :)
(Jeez, write a novel why don'cha deitz?)
yup... this is all something we've all considered... are aware of... these leagues... wild.
Green Eyes - the waterpolo player, while totally hot, totally mediocred personality... i wouldn't have described him as having an "amazing personality"... now you're with someone who has an "amazing personality" AND is fucking adorable... you scored!!!
BY THE WAY EVERYONE!!! -- that guy really isn't in my league -- he's the leader singer of snow patrol -- a totally amazing artist... i'm just an amazing bullshit artist -- 2 totally different leagues!!! hahahaha!
so what's the key to moving up into another league? i think i have always dated a notch below my league - or maybe i'm just pretending to be in a different league out of ignorance.
Anonymous - good question... don't settle... it sounds like you're aware that they aren't in your league, so don't even entertain the idea... also, it's having a sense of confidence - knowing that you're amazing and can only be with someone as equally amazing... your confidence will attract others in your league... take krikri for instance, she's witty, talented, gorgeous, etc - but she has (or had) no idea of all these qualities - she constantly second guesses herself and in the past has often dated below her league - gaining confidence over time, she's finally dating someone who's an equal... so yeah, start there;-) w/ realizing how fab you are!!!
right on miss curious! It is all about confidence and self esteem.
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