PMS: The Closest Thing to Being a Man?

Last night I had a new revelation about PMS.
I stared out my 5th floor window and was pissed at everyone and everything… and all I could think about was food and sex.
Moody, hungry and horny as fuck.
An uncanny resemblance to a man.

I can go all month not caring much about sex, and then suddenly, I have this overwhelming desire to have my MILKERS groped. So, while PMSing, I have to “push myself over the edge” pretty regularly… when I run out of good fantasies to get me there, I resort to my Women’s Erotica collection. But then, I’ve had this collection for several years, and the stories have really lost their punch.

What does Miss Curious and her curiosity then decide to do? Casual Encounters. And NO, not partake, just read… there are some freaky men out there… and at my most horny, I’ll just read the things, but men, in their everyday state are posting this shit in hopes of actually getting to fulfill their RIM-JOB and DADDY’S LITTLE GIRL needs.

I personally don’t know any women who have partaken in a Casual Encounter. I do, however, know plenty of gay men who do it regularly. Gay men don’t have any heightened sexual desire, from what I understand… they just have more ready and willing No Strings Attached men who’s sexual hunger match one another. Women, by nature, are just less horny, so it’s the women who keep heterosexual men’s encounters to a minimum.

Thinking more about this, I recall many of my own experiences where I’ve been stunned by a man’s intense appetite for all things sexual.

I’m definitely on the more horny side when it comes to women… but men I’ve been with have done things that even in my horniest state I do not believe I’d ever do.

For instance, at least 4 men have gone down on me while I was on the rag… sex I can understand, but having your mouth down there in that bloody mess is just disgusting… if I were I guy, I wouldn’t do it, but I let several do it to me… and I’m not saying I had tampons on all those occasions… yup, some saw a pad and still went for it… but again, I let them… Gah-Ross…. One guy in particular was begging me to let him go down and even said, “I love taking the tampon out with my teeth.” Of course, he said it in a jocular tone, but I it’s no stretch to think he’d actually have done it.

Basically, even at my horniest during the PMS stage, I’m still not even close to most boys’ level… PMS gives me a superficial taste of their lives… their hunger for sex and food and their bitchy attitudes!!!

MISS CURIOUS – NOT SO SMART:

HOW DID MISS CURIOUS LEARN WHAT A CONDOM WAS?

Here’s the scene: Miss Curious is in 5th grade. She sits amongst 3 boys who are snickering beside her. One of them pipes up, “hey Miss Curious, I bet you don’t know what a condom is!?!”

Miss Curious in her feisty, fuck you boys, voice, “Yes I do!!!”

“Then what is it?”

“My parents live in one!”

My real dad and step mom lived in a Condominium at the time.

Lesson learned.

SPEAK GREEK?

I used to peruse the classifieds for female escorts with the name LaSassy (well, her real name). For some reason, LaSassy’s name is common amongst the call girls, so I enjoyed plastering her door with the ads.

Anyway, one day as I was sitting with my friend Jay, I noticed that many of the advertisements boasted, “Speaks Greek.”

Unfortunately I said this aloud to Jay, “Wow, I didn’t know so many people in the Greek community got call girls. And wow, so many of them are bilingual… good for them!”

The look that came over Jay’s face: Priceless.

Apparently “Speaking Greek” means “Takes it Up the Ass”

Lesson Learned.