Since I'm Impossible...
Patience is a virtue of which I know nothing.
- Miss Curious
Since I haven't heard back from Bad Break-Up, I decided to give it one last try... and then, this will be it. Here's my final MySpace message to him:
I'm totally going to be a pain in your ass, so nothing new, right!?!! I have this really great idea... you decide you'll meet up with me... I'll come to Berkeley and make it completely easy on you... we'll have a drink... you'll tell me whats new... I'll give you advice on things I know nothing about... I'll tell you a few funny things, which is actually inevitable since everything I say is completely funny and totally irrelevant. We'll talk about the good times if we can think of any (just kidding!)... and then we'll leave on the best of terms, and should we bump into one another on the streets of Europe someday, we'll have our "good to see you's" and really mean it.
Humor me.
- Miss Curious
posted by MissCurious @ 12:08 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Ahhh, MC, I think you are treading in dangerous water here. It doesn't seem like seeing him will really bring anything positive to either of you. While the situations are vastly different, it reminds me of the difficulty I have in not seeing or speaking to G. Some things are best left undone or unsaid. Just my 2 cents for what it's worth.
J Do: i completely understand what you're saying... i think the difference being that i'm not contacting him from an emotional standpoint... there is complete certainty that i do not want any romantic involvement... like you said, our reasons indeed are vastly different... we're coming from places that are fueled by different emotions... i'm very far away from mine... the emotion that i do have attached to this is one of shame -- i feel like i've done some growing up in the past couple of years and want to face a mistake... apologize to someone i once cared about... i don't want to feel like i can't face anyway in my life... that's not how i want to live my life...i want to be okay w/ what i've done, and i've never been okay with how i've handled that situation... bleh. i just got a response from him... it doesn't appear as though we'll meet up... but i did what i could.
Oh man - this is getting ugly.
Please let it go. It's sad, but you're just gonna have to forgive yourself instead of getting forgiveness from him.
don't worry guys - i know all the advice i need to give myself - i know all of our cliches... i feel much better about everything having even just contacted him and said sorry... said some of the things i needed to say... and of course, it takes two goes without saying... in the past, i just never took any responsibility, so that's why i'm doing it now.
he sent a nice, respectable email, and i appreciated all of his correspondence... the 2 emails that went back and forth after this post are just too long to post... i had a strong sense of resolution from them... and more than i wanted to meet up out of - take one big guess - CURIOSITY - miss curious oh so curious... to see how he is... see what he's been doing... i'm just curious... but i can now live without that part :)
Hope you feel you have some closure now!
"patience is one virtue that i'd like to trade. i need something a little more worth it's weight"
- Through Jaded Eyes, The Enemies
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