Bad Break-Up's Response

(I almost hate to post this personal correspondence, but I can't compromise my dedication to this blog... here are just a few excerpts from his email... the italics are not my responses to him, but just my thoughts to a few things he said... his response was very long... and very appreciated. This has always been such a black mark in my past, and I'm glad to face it instead of ignore it... My email response to him will be posted Tuesday... I will be out of town.)

Delighted as I am to hear from you, I do wonder as to why you have chosen to write me. What events have you experienced in your past relationships that would have you question your role in our past relationship? You have both the talent and vice for revisiting past wounds and attempting to analyze them or attempt to perceive them in a different light in order to make peace with them and yourself.

- and vice is right… he’s so right about this.

When we were speaking to each other long after we broke up, I maintained that you would sadistically steer the conversation toward the negative aspects of our relationship in order to bombard me with the ways in which I erred with you. While your accusations were spot on, I found myself feeling as if I was being charged again and again for the same crimes. I made drastic mistakes in our relationship and was sorry that you had to suffer for my shortcomings.

- yes yes yes – I am so sadistic in that sense… at that time, I was just so close to those emotions… I wasn’t ready to let it go… and wow, I never knew he actually heard me… I never knew that he was taking some responsibility for our failure… he was always the silent thoughtful type… who, in his silence, made me feel as though he saw no fault on his behalf

I need you to reassure me that any future correspondence will be done so in a manner by which I might be an asset to your day/life; nothing positive can come from us speaking in depth of our past together. I cannot revise this time in our life nor erase any hurt I caused. While you weren’t the only one who suffered when we were together, our suffering stemmed from the same source (that would be me). I have never forgotten this and continually remind myself of how one should not behave in a relationship of any sort.

- again, a huge WOW, I cannot believe he’s taking so much responsibility for the dissolution of our relationship… he’s definitely taking way more than he needs to… well, I don’t even know if it’s a matter of responsibility… relationships are haphazard… we both did the best we could.

With that said, let us see where future communication takes us. Weve undergone many emotional states in our involvements with each other, however as mentioned before: This too shall pass. Heres to the potential for an upswing,

Bad Break-Up

- This too shall pass was a sign I had above my door… it was a sign that KriKri actually made me years ago… after I moved out, he visited my new place… I saw the sign, and we discussed its implications… but at that point, this had not passed. I do believe that it now has.


LOOK FORWARD TO NEXT WEEK'S BLOGGING... IT WILL BE BOTH MY RESPONSE TO BAD BREAK-UP AS WELL AS THE JUICY DETAILS OF THIS WEEKEND'S SORORITY TRIP TO VEGAS - OH SHIT!!! WILL THERE BE LOST PANTS AND HOSPITAL VISITS FOR ALCOHOL POISONING?!?!? PLEASE NOTE: NEITHER OF THOSE OCCURENCES WERE MY OWN TRAGEDIES... THAT TIME)