Pussy Problems

(sorry to disappoint... this post is not about vaginas... not this time... this is a classic Miss Curious RANT!!!)

Before I moved in my roommate mentioned she might get a second cat. I didn’t think it’d be an issue because all the cats I’ve ever lived with have been so chill. No sweat, right? So, she does get the second cat. And he’s not so happy to have left her friend’s place in So Cal. He cries all night long. I just figured it was a matter of time before he got adjusted. No such luck.

Crying all night long was only the half of it. He’s like a little kid. At home all day long by himself, and as soon as I get home, he starts crying and is attached to my legs the rest of the day. I go to the bathroom, he jumps over my legs to get in there. Then it’s a battle to get him to leave the bathroom… this is every time. While I’m going to the bathroom, he cries and reaches his arms under the door. While in the shower – crying.

I can’t tie my shoes, I can’t leave my headphones out, I have to watch my plants and my trash… all because he’s right there biting and chewing and crying.

It’s constant. Then there’s her first cat, which is a rockstar… which is like all the other cats I’ve known. He’s totally mellow… just hangs out… jumps on my lap and naps with me. Never even heard her cry.

Here’s the thing, my roommate has a boyfriend who has 2 dogs, so he needs to be home for them, and she’s at his house ALL THE TIME. Which, under normal circumstances would be cool to have the place to myself, BUT she has a cat that needs TONS of affection. She LITERALLY (no hyperbole here, none!) comes in for 15 minutes to change and then leaves.

I just don’t understand why a person gets a new cat who needs so much attention, but pays it no attention. Two cats need more food. I feed them. Often. I don’t think she realizes exactly how often they have no food. Two cats piss and shit more. I’ve already cleaned the kitty litter a few times. People tell me just not to do that. But I have to. I care about them.

I don’t have cats or pets because I know that I can’t give them the attention they need at this point. So why do people have pets when they don’t take care of them?

I haven’t mentioned this in el Blog before, but it has been eating away at me. I kept thinking it’d get better, and it has… but not much. I ONCE AGAIN DREAD COMING HOME BECAUSE I KNOW THE SECOND I WALK THROUGH THE DOOR THE NEW CAT WILL BE ALL OVER ME. Don't get me wrong, my roommate has been so frickin' cool. She's super sweet and fun and I love the room and the area and the rent... but this is just one of those things that she doesn't necessarily notice.

A week and a half ago she told me her parents were going to come up and take him. They came up and visited, but last night they DID NOT TAKE THE CAT. She says she might keep it after all. But keep a cat that you’re never there to take care of??? I don’t understand… I don’t get it… I don’t want this cat… but I feel like it’s my cat.

I cannot tell you enough what torture this has been. And really, the other cat is a sweetheart… love her… want to keep her… but the new cat… oh no!

I’m thinking about emailing her today. I’ve voiced my concern to her last night, but I don’t think she quite understands.

SO HERE’S THE BOTTOM LINE: If she gets rid of the cat, which she doesn’t want to do, she’ll resent me. The cat is driving me insane. I’ve just hit that “wall”… you know, where you’ve just had it and reason and logic no longer apply?!?! And in my mind, I’m already thinking of moving… after just 2 and half,

I feel stuck. I feel like I don’t have a home I look forward to going to.

Last night, I balled my eyes out. I walked out of my apartment at 12:30 am. I called my sister and walked around the block 10 times. In the dark. I just want a HOME. I just want some place that feels like MY HOME. It seems like such a small thing. The cat thing. The home thing. But I really just want a home.

Homeless. Uprooted. It just hurts my heart. I hate feeling so displaced. And I’m so edgy about any new places now… I’ll go into anything new with a closed mind… I’ll go into it worried that it’ll catch fire or a roommate would turn psychotic or they’ll sell it or something new… and maybe I just need something to always complain about or worry about, but really and truly this pet is driving me insane. I don’t want my own pet for a reason. I know that they’re work. People so often get pets and completely neglect them. But then, is everything just me? Am I just being psychotic? I really don't think so. I can put up with A LOT. Trust me. But not this.

I just don’t know what to do. I just don’t know.