YET ANOTHER SHUT THE FUCK UP MS. CURIOUS
I'm having the "i have no friends" feelings again... okay, i have friends, just not that one person i hang out with all the time... i really should put an application out on craigslist for some new best friend. Hm. I think I might just do that. Tomorrow. But then of course, not so far back in my mind, I'll be wishing it were some hot guy and we'll be in love forever.
That would then turn the best friend application into an online dating bit... and like women forget how insanely painful childbirth is, i seem to always forget how insanely awkward and awful online dating is. Someone remind me.
But where oh where, will i find my next victim to torture with my stubborn, bitchy, sanctimonious attitude?
Why am I so fucking difficult and have isolation tendencies and act like I'm better than everyone when really I'm completely not .... and I just wish I were more pure... not in a lovely sweet innocent lady pure, but a pure where I'm unselfish and patient and empathetic and sympathetic and kind. Instead, i sit here with my bad habits and hating myself for not being all of those things... because sometimes i know i'm erring in my ways and i just can't help myself and then it's followed by this insane guilt. and sure i'm human and make mistakes, the same ones, again and again, but i'd still prefer not... i should transcend that bullshit because i'm acutely aware of every single flaw i hold and every single comment and action that i do whether right or wrong... trust me... miss curious can act like an oblivious asshole, but really in her head, she's thinking, "oh fuck - shit - why'd i just say that - shut the fuck up."
OH FUCKING JESUS - I AM TRULY INSANE AND SHOULD JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SORRY. YET ANOTHER POST FOR THEE "BORRRINGG... ANONYMOUS COMMENTER"
posted by MissCurious @ 12:16 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Well here's something. Reading your blog has been really interesting for me, because I have never thought of you as stubborn, bitchy, sanctimonious, boring, or insane. I think you are really fun, and funny, and interesting, maybe a little wild 'n' crazy, but definitely not an asshole! It's bizarre that you think of yourself this way - or maybe that you think the rest of us see you that way. Um, so just like, move out here and I will totally be your new best friend and we will hang out all the time!!! (I'm lacking in the female friend department these days as well.)
KRIKRI - i know friends can recognize these behaviors of mine during certain circumstances... but more than anything, it's my tragic self-awareness that will eventually lead to my death, hahaha!
i recently argued this point w/ a friend, what i hate is that i so often know how to handle a situation, appropriately, like not take this or that personally or be patient or understanding, but sometimes i react out of sensitivity or frustration... it's like you cry when you fall and break all your bones... and after i have this immediate reaction, i'm so frustrated because i wish or think i could've prevented it. and sometimes it's too late to back track... and all i end up doing is being super pissed and annoyed w/ myself! like why the fuck can't i be zen and pure and react the right way?!?!?
does this make sense at all?
yup - you got it. MC = biznatch. And one day you and I will totally hang out every day and I can tell you how lame you are every day:)
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