Hm, Wow, Thankfully This Blog Makes Me Realize Things Aren't Really a Big Deal

5th Paragraph:

Uh, the stupid - stupid things I do!!! Anyway, if you missed the week before I left for Mexico, here's a quick update... 5th Paragraph and I ended up hanging out... I told him no expectations - just an evening of drinking a smoking... it went really well... things were chill... he kept moving closer to me... I kept moving further away... no kissing... just some arms around one another, and i went home.

i emailed him before i left for mexico, and when i got back, his reply was adorable... well, one silly little line where he said he'd liked my email and had read it many times... that's kinda' sweet. and of course, i like to feast on crumbs!!!

i had no intention of emailing him back... because really, what's the fucking point!?!? are we really going to get back into this and then i want more and he wants less?!?! Um, NO.

With my mind all made up to just let it go... Tuesday night, he leaves me this message about wanting to hang out that night... I was already out with friends, so I couldn't go, but i was certainly surprised to hear from him.

I emailed him yesterday thanking him for the invite, blah blah blah... and then asking what he was up to tonight... now THAT is what i wish i would NOT have done!!! I should have just thanked him, and if something came up later that i thought he'd be interested in, sure email him...

and i haven't gotten a reply from him... THIS is where i HATE to be... i HATE to be in a somewhat weary position where I don't want him thinking that I suddenly expect us to be best friends and hang out all the time... I know what he wants this time around - nothing more than an occasional friend... now that i know, it makes things easier, but still i ABHOR sitting here speculating as to what he might read into things. And of course, waiting for a response.

Bleh.

Well, perhaps I shouldn't have opened this door... but as I'm writing, I realize that it isn't that big of a deal if he doesn't reply... it isn't that big of a deal if he gets freaked out thinking i have some expectations... so really, why the fuck do i care?!

Forge ahead Miss Curious - Forge ahead! Everything is going to be just fine :-)



What really matters is things a girl can buy:

I was thinking of getting this Fedora... I don't know... what do you think? Would it look good on me?