Oh What A Night!

although i was tired as fuck last night, my ex made me promise i'd go to his show (he's sober, and i am sober around him)... when i got home, i realized that i'd forgotten my keys on my bed (our door automatically locks, so this was bound to happen)... i called my roommate (who pretty much lives at her boyfriend's) hoping i could just take a cab and grab the keys....... no answer.... walked around the block a few times and tried again... still no luck - yet feeling optimistic... then i called every single one of my friends in the city, to no avail!!! who knew that people turn their phones off at night? almost half of them automatically went into voicemail... the others, well, our friendships are over!

i then took a cab to a friend's house who i thought would answer her doorbell... nothing... at this point, the hilarity of the situation quickly dissipated and dejection swiftly took its place... i started thinking of all the dark corners in the city i could sleep, but none of them sounded appealing... and oh yeah, i couldn't stay at the ex's because the girl he just started dating was at the show and visiting from sacramento (he and i are buds and i pretty much ended the relationship, so i didn't give a fuck about that - but i knew he did - afterall, he still thinks we're getting married - um, that's not what i think!).....

anyway, no options.... i cabbed to a hotel... it was going to be just over a hundred dollars... i stepped out of the lobby to take in the moment and deliberate the prospect of spending 100 bucks to sleep for 5 hours (that's like 3 to 4 shows or 2 shows and an eighth) - i could feel the tears welling up... i exhaled and rolled my eyes back to inhibit any obstinate tear that may be trying to touch my unwelcoming cheeks.

it was dark and cold... and i felt so alone... i couldn't believe that finding a place to stay would be so difficult. i was genuinely surprised because there are quite a few people i felt comfortable infringing on their space and time :) ...

luckily New York Midge was on the phone with me for most of the time... and he felt so helpless... we'd laughed for about the first hour, but now we both felt defeated.

with my head still spinning, i began to reconcile the situation... admitting that, okay fine, life's full of unforseen circumstances - circumstances in which we have no control - the only control i have over this is how i react, and it's going to be fine. let me just stand here for one moment and swallow the fact that i have to pay for this room.

and the phone rings. a friend just picked up my message and told me to come the fuck over now... he had a nice little bed all made up for me... and i slept well. well enough.

Today I'm still in my sweaty clothes from headbangers' ball... mascara smudged under my red eyes... and yet, a smile still on my face.

DON'T FORGET - I'M IN MEXICO ALL NEXT WEEK, SO NO BLOGGING UNTIL AFTER LABOR DAY!!!