My Strength and My Weakness

For those of you who read my now deleted 'work' post about the woman I essentially told, “You’re right, I don’t like you… I don’t like people who speak to me with such disrespect… and I know you walk all over everyone else, but I will not allow you to walk all over me... I don't care who you are - call me back when you can speak like a rational adult (she's in her 50's)…” - I just got flowers from her, HA!

I’m a strong woman in so many ways… but when it comes to boys, aye, my kryptonite is revealed. Fuck me! (i don't take shit from guys... but it's weakness in a different way with them, bleh!)

I held out a while to respond… and actually didn’t even think I would respond at all… but I broke… it was to 5th Paragraph… a week and a half ago he texted me (if you didn’t catch that post),

“Just broke my first tooth in a mosh pit… be proud!”

A random correspondence that I was a bit bewildered by… didn’t think he’d even thought about me since he told me he wanted to have fun w/ no potential commitment… so, Monday, I decided to email him… said something to the effect of, “hey, I’ve been meaning to reply… what happened w/ the tooth?”

He sent his usual essay detailing the entire broken tooth episode, which included a little blurb as to why he texted me of all people… kinda’ sweet… and again, makes me feel like less of a tool for having been dissed by him:

(he was seeing a show at slim’s and broke off some of the enamel on his bottom tooth)

...still, it freaked me out at the time. i spent a while way at the back, telling myself a long lecture about how this was going to be a turning point, i was going to stop getting so drunk and behaving so carelessly, i was going to start acting my age, etc. that's when i texted you... i felt like i had to tell someone, and i was there alone. suddenly you seemed like the best person to notify...

I had wondered why in the world he ever would’ve texted me… it’s still whatever… kinda nice… he’s an engineer, so of course he’d use “notify” in his word choice. It’s still kinda’ “too bad that didn’t work out” I genuinely hadn’t had as much fun w/ a guy I was hooking up with as I did with him, which i think is weird because in San Francisco you think you'd find more men who smoke weed, drink alcohol, see a ton of live shows, and are pretty much up for anything.... oh well.

They come and they go.