Who Said Artificial Sweetners Were A Bad Thing!?!?

As I was sitting on the toilet this morning with the runs once again (cause unknown), I contemplated an issue Green Eyes and I deliberated this past weekend… what makes a person’s cum and/or a woman’s juice taste good?

MEN:

We both thought about the men in our lives that have had the best tasting cum. After identifying such men, we began to search for a common denominator. None of them were pineapple freaks or heavily consumed any of the recommended provisions. What we did find, however, was that these men noticeably consumed a great deal of sugar. Candy sugar, not honey sugar. Could we be onto something? Hm. For those men out there, this is something to consider… yummy for you – yummy for us. (I suppose you’d have to be the type of man who actually cares)

WOMEN:

Onto the ladies. Unfortunately, I’ve noticed a change in my taste. Not that I’m sitting here tasting myself all fucking day, but every once in a while if I’m hanging out w/ a boy, I’ll check to see what he has to eat. I used to get the, “you taste so good” comment a lot. Now, for whatever reason, my taste has gotten a little more acidic. Not sweet like before. Shit. It could be the smoking (quit ciggies, but smoke too much bud or the red meat or the fact that I don’t eat insane amounts of citrus fruits anymore… hmm, I’m gonna’ change that!)

An online suggestion: Putting artificial sweeteners up your kooch before the boy goes down? Sugar apparently fucks with you… but artificial sweeteners they say work like a charm?!?!?

Dude, “oh baby you taste so sweet.”

Now looking perplexed, Dude comments, “you kinda’ taste like Splenda… wait, maybe Equal… no, no Sweet N’ Low.”

You reveal your secret. Dude says, “awesome, calorie free dessert!”

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!

I’m not going to be stuffing Splenda in my bathroom and purse anytime soon. I don’t think.

Bad Break-Up:

He called last night. Our talk was amazing. We reminisced about the good times. We discussed what we’ve been up to for the past 2 years in which we didn’t speak. He knows me. It was so nice to be KNOWN. It was just so fucking comforting. It’s not like we’re going to be buddy-buddy now or even hang out… but we’ll most likely touch base every now and again… and please note: he has a girlfriend who is most likely “the one,” and even if he didn’t have one, I have no delusions about us getting back together.

Our conversation was a breath of fresh air... opening this door was truly a success.