Let's Put This To Rest...

Okay his reply was a fucking novel just like all of his emails - and it will make you cringe... I'm posting the worst parts, so everyone can feel better themselves, and I wasn't even going to post until KriKri said, "post post"... because I've realized that it took me like a day (yesterday) to be like whatever, and now I really don't feel like getting into this... but...

His Email:

anyway, i am sorry for being an ass and not writing/calling all week.but it really had a lot more to do with me being stressed and pissed and inconsiderate than an intentional "diss" of anyone. well ok, i must admit that i left your house last friday morning with a disquieting sense of impending unpleasantness (who says that?!?!). i was rather uncomfortable with the way we left things--with you being all clingy and saying that you couldn't wait a week to see me again, implying that i should not go out on monday because you were going out on tues, wed and needed to see me before then. (are you fucking kidding me!?! god forbid i should want to see you sooner than a week away... and c'mon now, i'm the one who couldn't hang out all weekend and couldn't hang out tues and wed... the only day you were busy was monday, i guess that's "clingy" and no way, i would never let a person miss a show he really wanted to see just to hang out... and we were totally joking around in bed when we discussed the following week's plan... he's just a freak-out)

ok, what the hell is my point. go back and read your last 2 lettersto me... look at how downright pleasant, friendly, civil they are.no, there is no way i could justify just cutting off communication with you, since you are clearly not some kind of psycho who cannot handle reality. (what? who says, "downright pleasant"?!?!? and you were looking to "justify" cutting off communication?)

then i realized last week that you might be getting the wrong impression of the amount of free time & energy that i have.i spent a few days thinking about how to explain to you that i cannot be someone that you can always count on seeing every 3 or 4 days and never being gone for a weekend. (yeah, seeing him every 3-4 days is a lot to ask?!?, and i haven't even asked for one weekend because i've been busy for each of them... and yes wrong impression... introducing me to your sister and friends and meeting a bunch of my friends and asking me to shows, coming to my house w/ your little overnight bag, calling me on a monday night and coming to pick me up on your motorcycle, so i don't have to cab or bus it... whatever!!!)

(then he goes into like 2 paragraphs about every detail at his job - he's very much a detail guy... all of his emails have the ingredients he bought at the store and how he cooked his dinner and how long his report was... and on and on... this email was in line w/ those, but i'm sparing you! and okay, i did think it was cute before)

ahhhh... now i'm rambling because i have a few minutes so i am venting all this bullshit. but i guess what i am trying to say is that i have not come to any realization that i can't stand Miss Curious anymore... (what a way to phrase it... can't stand?!!)

let's find some happy medium where i can dissappear into my own little world at times without freaking you out. (happy for who? so i'm just on your time - your whim... i don't think so!)

My Email:

i must admit it stings a bit hearing you say that you've been trying to figure out how you were going to break things to me...

this clearly boils down to us wanting different things - and/or with just someone else (as i know and KriKri knows, it really is just w/ someone else... i just didn't do it for him... if i had, he would've made the time)... i certainly don't have time to see someone everyday, but i would like to see him a couple times a week (and i myself will be gone 2 weekends in august alone)... and when i posted on craigslist i didn't know exactly what i wanted or what to expect, now it's a little more clear... i do know that this is not what i want...

...i want something that could potentially develop into more than an "i'll see you when i see you"... i could easily just say 'yeah okay whatever works for you' and then have this secret hope in the back of my mind that you'd actually want to see me more and then you'd totally fall for me or something, but i don't have the energy to figure that out... if you don't feeling like giving it a couple days a week, then there's not much i can do about that. there's just something about me that hasn't clicked for you - hasn't made you want to put the effort in - and oh a slight blow to the ego but... it is what it is...

...thanks for writing that email... and if i bump into you at some show somewhere, i'll give you a gigantic hug and offer you some good medicinal herb.

And that's the end of the story. In the past year, I've let 2 people go and 2 people have let me go... oh the fuck well... Let's move on folks.