Skid Row

Since I’ve been such a negligent blogger, I might as well share something very disgusting, so I’m forgiven.

We all remember my sexcapades with Nice Guy, right!?!?! Well, the night I was heading over to the Fillmore for the show, I of course got stoned. I was on my way out the door when the urge to shit suddenly came over me. I did my business, and being a little stoned, I was pretty lazy about the whole thing.

Then, Nice Guy comes over… we have some sex, he spends the night, and we both leave for work in the a.m. When I got home from work, I began picking up my trail of clothes from the night before, and there in plain view, were Miss Curious’ Victoria Secret 5 for $25 cotton disco designed panties with – with – with……….. wait for it…………. that’s right, skid marks, my friends… skid marks that we only think are products of negligent male wipers… dark brown, unmistakably shit marks on the stark white crotch of my underwear.

First thoughts, “did I take these off or did he?” “did he walk by these on his way out this morning?” “oh my fucking god!” “Oh my fucking god!” …. And I also thought, “oh my fucking god!”

The only hope I have that he hadn’t seen them was the fact that he eagerly came over a couple days later for more sex… either he didn’t give a shit or he didn’t see ‘em… oh please god, please god, tell me he didn’t see them.

So my friends, moral of the story – wipe well.