Neurotic Psycho Bitch Who Just Shouldn't Date

Why go with the flow when you can analyze everything to death and make yourself sick?

Oddly enough, up until last night, I’d been going with the flow well enough when it came to Bam.

Friday night we had our official second date. Throughout the day we had sexually charged emails, and I couldn’t see any reason why we couldn’t fuck that night. Okay, I’m sure others can come up with a bunch of reasons, but he was makin’ me all HOT and shit.

He apparently had the same notion because when I asked, “do you have something?” he whipped-out a Costco-sized box of Trojans.

And holy-shit… I almost feel badly divulging this information because with him I’ve started feeling like I should keep some things private… but I just can’t NOT say this… we fucked 6 times this weekend and I blew him once making that a grand total of 7 blown loads. It was 5 times Friday and Saturday morning… Friday night also included the blow-job, making Bam a 6 time champ for that short period of time!!! Wow!!!

On Saturday he left for a barbeque that I decided against going to… before he left I was kinda’ feelin’ Miss Curious’ “ahhh, this is too much too soon,” but then an hour later, I found myself missing him.

Later that evening, I decided I would meet up w/ him and his friends after all. I hung out with the girls, and he hung out with the guys.

While I was immersed in conversation with the ladies, not even thinking about him, I got a text from him, “you look hot… wanna go home together?”

How adorable. I love that he was still aware of my presence… watching me from afar.

Later that night we headed to one of his married couple friends’ house… I again kicked it w/ the chick… he was in the other room… another text, “that Miss Curious is really cool…”

How cute.

That was a pretty fucking amazing night.

Then we were supposed to hang out last night, but my little sister was coming. He lives 40 minutes away, so having her here meant he’d have to drive home that night too… I then gave him the out --- that I’d understand if he didn’t want to do all that driving.

He wasn’t supposed to take me up on it though! Hahaha! He did say he’d call. But he didn’t.

I didn’t understand why his ass wouldn’t call me because up until the end of the day, he still had plans with me. That meant, he was going to have no other plans other than laundry, chores, and talking to me. Hahaha.

I was totally bummin’ and realizing that I was suddenly in freak out mode… remembering that these things can end at any moment… that one person can wake up one day and just say, “I’m not that into this.”

I know this because this is exactly how I am.

I panicked. I like him. I don’t want him to wake up and not want me anymore. That’d royally suck my fat-ass.

This morning, however, I did get this super cute and long email from him apologizing that he’d crashed early… blah blah blah. And that he missed me… that he’d call me today. We’ll see.

Later in the afternoon, I got another email just saying he was thinking of me.

Again, totally cute… but for some reason, I’m still in freak-out mode.

Such volatility in dating someone. Now I’ve developed feelings, and I can’t stand it. I’m so mother-fucking-bad at this shit.

Also, I’m celebrating my birthday with a couple friends on Friday… I invited him to come… he has other plans… whatever!!! Hahaha! And then, I was all bummed about that.

I really can’t stand myself right now.