Oh The Joys of Craigslist

I wish my blog had enough space to post all 40 responses to my Craigslist ad... and they just keep rolling in. Every stoner in the city of San Francisco has suddenly found "the one" that being me.

But of course, posting on Craig's is NOT without the occasional PERRRRRRRRVVVV.

- One of my very first replies was indeed a cock shot with cum oozing out of the head. De-Lete.

- I also got the "I'm old enough to be your father, but I liked your post..." In that same category (different response), "I'm just retired and am more than a little older than you... I've taught college, been a war correspondent, won photography awards, been an investigative reporter, written an acclaimed book, and been the subject of a movie... I could take you traveling around the world." (And you're looking for a stoner who wants to watch Old School and eat Cheezits!?!?! De-Lete.)

- Telephone numbers and Instant Messenger Handles... Much too eager for me. That strikes me as a 'they do this a lot' person. De-Lete.

- Then I got the guys who've clearly created an automated response, again, they must do this lot... huge turn-off... but then, what did i expect, right?!! (i really didn't know what to expect)... "I'm a great kisser... let's go golf... I will give you your freedom..." "I'm such a romantic kind of guy... I like walking on the beach at night and watching the stars" - Are they for real?!? NOT FOR ME. CHEEEESE-ITS. DE-LETE.

- "Into psytrance? I could play a set..." ?!?! What?!?! That one line was actually the entire response. De-Lete.

- Then of course I got some lovely compliments, " that was the funniest post I have read yet," "I just flagged that post for Best of Craigslist" (wow, that's a bit extreme... CL must have a dearth of posts if he thinks this, but thanks anyway!) "refreshing post, is it for real?", "hilarious!" THANK YOU BOYS THANK YOU!

- "And, to be sure, those Cheese-Nip IMPERSONATORS need to go die a slow death." (I totally agree!!! Cheezits are the only way to go! Haven't deleted yet, hm.)

- "I want to know about this house that has windows that roll down." (when i was stoned this was funny as shit, and i was laughing too hard to think of a good reply - De-Lete)

- "What a coincidence, I'm also stoned and mooching wireless from my neighbor as I read this... I just spent a good 45 minutes in the Safeway cereal isle pondering the life-or-death decision between frosted flakes and honey comb" (funny, but he's 23... too young for me... he sent a pic... cute, but looks like a little boy, De-Lete, sorry)

- "it was really your 5th paragraph that caught my attention. i guess i, too, have felt lonely standing in a crowd of good friends. that's really when i decided to pack this bowl and write you." (He counted the paragraphs?!??! The rest of this post was actually cute, have yet to delete)

- This was kinda' cute: "it seems that you managed to eek out a somewhat offbeat and intriguing CL post, so you could be totally rad and fabulous (how'd he know!?!) and I could end up regretting passing by this opportunity for the rest of my life. Who wants that kind of baggage on their shoulders? Not me. I don't know if you need or currently want to know a whole bunch of exciting crap about me like what color my socks are, my first dog's name or whether or not I like rocky road ice cream better that sorbet, so I'll just say that I am not a weird creep." (Still contemplating. Hm)

- "At the moment, I am not sure that I should have replied to this, if you were looking for a reply or even what the hell exactly it is you are looking for period (besides cheese-its,) but since I am sitting here carousing about the dingy, sticky corners of craigslist while ripping the bong, I figured I should at least say hello." (true, i'm not sure what it is I'm looking for... like the writing... haven't deleted)

Anyway, the list goes on and on... from grandpa's to stanford "i'm more than financially stable" grads, it was all there... and it was all entertaining... and this is all still trippy to me.

I bumped into LaSassy on the bus this morning... we discussed how about 80% of the time I'm stoked to be living my little Miss Curious life in San Francisco... yup, my lil' single self bopping around the city bumping into my favorite bus drivers and pals here and there... seeing live shows, going to film festivals and smoking fat blunts, hahaha... it's just these few moments - these few impulses - that sweep over me on occasion and provoke me to do these ridiculous things that i'd love to just disappear... i'd love to be free of any desire for a male... ahhh... if only the rules of this game were different.

But anyway, I'm not compelled to correspond with anyone... emailing's fun for a minute, and as much as I thought I wanted to meet some silly boy, it all seems like such a bother.

I'd prefer to just meet someone the old fashioned way... you know, show up at the church with mom and dad's pick waiting there for me at the alter.