YES, FUCK THIS POST

For visceral reasons, I find myself craving more mischief. It’s interesting that I recognize so clearly my unequivocal need for highs and lows. I do believe that such proclivities originate from genetics versus environmental factors… it is, however, undeniable that my penchant for such extremities can be exacerbated by environmental reasons. Can one change his or her nature? Would I prefer to feel music and love and companionship on a more stable level? Or experience them more intensely? But the pain, is then… more intense.

Ew. FUCK my “stream of consciousness” w/ me trying to psychoanalyze once again, why I am the way I am. LA-AME.

Anyway, last week’s interaction, rather lack thereof, with 5th Paragraph only elicited feelings of irritation for about a minute.

Now I seek more feelings of irritation or potential happiness… or highs or lows in whatever way I can get them… and why oh why, does this need always surround these little flings I have with the opposite sex!?!?! But then, at the end of the day, we all know the “coupling-off” bit is in our nature… an inherent driving force that again, we question whether people can actually deliver themselves from such a drive.

OH MY GOD. What the fuck am I talking about (please don’t answer that)!?!?!?!

The short of it… I’m looking for trouble… and trouble with a boy…. And where oh where will I find my next victim?!?!? MySpace is always easy… I’ll consider this for the hundredth time. BARS – difficult, very difficult (1st to find a guy you think is attractive, then to actually talk to him, then find out if he’s single or an idiot – yes, difficult)… so where else? Where else can Miss Curious find him? Aw yes, there is some guy from sorta’ work that asked me to dinner, but he’s not my type… I’d eat him alive. Okay, so that’s still a “no.” (remember him, the “nice guy” that I thought I’d just go out with once… but I just know… I just know that my domineering personality would kill the guy).

Hmm. I suppose “where” is another age old question. Well, FUCK THIS POST… FUCK MY FUCKING RAMBLING… I SHOULD PUT MORE THOUGHT INTO THESE POSTS INSTEAD OF BETWEEN PHONE CALLS AND BATHROOM BREAKS AT WORK… I ALWAYS KINDA’ END UP FORGETTING WHAT I MEANT TO CONVEY.

OH WELL. FUCK.