A Drought On The Horizon

I had that date with Flava Flav last night. He’s such a sweet guy… kinda’ like “Nice Guy.” Remember him? Just super “nice” and falls into that “too nice” to date category. Again, he is fucking amazing in bed… I mean, all he wants to do is go down on me from the front – the back – the side… anyway he can get at it… and that is so fucking HOT!

What do I do? I know he’s starting to like me more and more, and sure I like him, but not the same way. I’ve told him that I’m only looking for something casual… He knows how I feel, but I do think he expects this will move forward.

How long do I continue hooking up with this person if I’m almost positive I don’t want anything more than what it is?

A friend and I were just discussing “when it rains, it pours” in relation to men. It always happens this way. It really does. In a month’s time, I went from no prospects to making out with iBartender, making out with Obsession, having a random “let’s get together” call from Kansas, hooking up Flava Flav who wants more, and having a random call from Bad Break-Up.

But then, the “when it rains, it pours” is inevitably followed by a drought. Because really, none of these are going anywhere. Sadly. And my friend, has four dudes running around with her right now, but like me, not one is going anywhere.

It seems so impossible to find a companion. So impossible to have feelings match and timing match and the courage to do anything about it… the fucking stars must align. Like I always say, it’s a fucking wonder that anyone ever ends up together… together in real love… in true love… but then, does it really happen? Ever?

I suppose I must accept the nature of this beast… and have my storms and droughts… and still hold onto my fantasy of finding the “one.” It only takes “one”… just “one,” and the search is over… the blogs about unrequited love come to an end… and the trials and tribulations of making a relationship work begin.

Now I feel like I must shed. Cleanse myself… move forward… be okay…be just fine. Peaceful.


CHANGE OF TOPIC: MUSIC

Overplayed Songs on my iPod –

- Lavinia, The Veils
- Love Will Tear Us Apart, Joy Division
- They Can’t Take That Away From Me, Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
- I Shall Be Released – Nina Simone
- Let’s Dance – David Bowie (LIVE VERSION)

Shows Coming Up –

- A Band Called Pain – Slim’s
- Tapes N’ Tapes – Great American
- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – the Fillmore
- Aqualung – the Fillmore
- Bjork – Shoreline
- Arcade Fire – Greek Theater Berkeley
- The Veils – Café Du Nord
- Band of Horses – Great American