The Flavor of Love

You know those chicks on The Bachelor or Flavor Flav who everyone in the house despises. And then, those chicks say shit like, “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here for Flav.” Anyway, I thought my latest MySpace conquest would have been that girl (let’s call him Flava Flav, Flav for short). In our first telephone conversation, Flav made comments of his reclusive and somewhat selfish behavior… seeming to be only out for himself. He was rather arrogant, and that’s always attractive to me… however, if he was going to be a purely sexual conquest, then it sounded as though he’d be a selfish lover… not what I wanted.

But I was still somewhat intrigued and was horny enough to overlook such faults. On Saturday, after cheering up a pal all evening, I decided to respond to his text and have him cruise over. I actually texted back, “would you still come over if all we’d do is talk?”

He quickly replied, “yes, I’m just curious to meet you.”

And oddly, my sex drive had dissipated by Saturday. Must be some female cycle shit.

I haven’t met anyone from online in almost a year, so I was a little freaked out about the online idea of who he is and I am. In person, he was much cuter than I had expected. Nice.

We talked for a while. I was a bit nervous. He kept getting closer and closer to me, so I knew he was interested. Eventually, I went in for the kiss, and that little shit says, “Um, I can’t kiss you… you said nothing was going to happen.” He seemed serious.

In My Head: Oh fuck! I totally misread him. How completely embarrassing.

I nervously chuckled.

After making me suffer from humiliation for a few minutes, he leaned over, softly touched my cheek with the back of his hand, then kissed me. Good kisser. Totally acceptable.

Our conversation was stimulating. He then told me we shouldn’t have sex because he actually likes me and wants to wait. Sweet. I didn’t want to have sex anyway. I just wasn’t in the mood anymore. Nothing to do with him… like I said, probably some female cycle shit that passed.

Turns out he totally wasn’t that Flavor Flav House Bitch… he was very giving and sweet and went down on me for a long time even though I said I wouldn’t be returning the favor. I didn’t cum, but he sure was fucking good at it.

I then kinda’ started to like that guy… but I knew that I’d never fall for him seeing as his past behavior with women was not one of honesty… and cheating often, is my “thing.” Everyone has his or her “thing”… it immediately made him less attractive. He also commented that he didn’t know if he could be monogamous if he started a relationship right now (at least that's an honest thing to say)… he knows that he has to work on himself… he has to be sure it’s never going to happen again. This was all fine with me since I merely wanted to hook-up, and I could easily hold onto these facts as a SUPERB WALL.

It really was a little confusing though… like I said, I was sorta’ liking the guy.

The next morning… he went down on me again… and again… and I came… and I didn’t do shit back to him… not even a hand-job… now who’s the Bitch of the House?

We then took a shower together… and of course, the first time I bring a guy home since my new roommate BFF moved in a couple of months ago, she has her Mom AND Godmother come see the place. What great timing! She even warned me… I tried to get him to SKA-Daddle…but we were a bit late. Embarrassing… we were in the shower saying, “oh fuck – oh fuck – oh fuck.”

Anyway, now I’m a ho. Nothing new.

The family left for brunch and Flav decided to hang out some more before I left for an Easter celebration. He said the ball was completely in my court… that he really wants to see me again, but he understands my reticence.

Hmmm… “Well, seeing as I’ve enjoyed your company so much…. There’s only so long I’ll be able to use your past against you… and then, I just may fall for your punk-ass… and then, I will have dug my own fucking grave… and be heart-broken… and I’ve done this shit before… I’ve had these flings all before… and it’s not what I want… not at all… we’re at such different points in our lives… bad timing. Really bad… I don’t know if I can ever see you again.” (yes, stupid and dramatic sounding... but I was giggling and light-hearted as I said it)

“I would be very disappointed if that were the case. Very disappointed, but there’s nothing I can say. There are no promises I can make.”

We said our good-byes… he reminded me that he’d wait for my call.

This morning, I got an email from him… “I know I should sleep on it before writing this email… but I’m impulsive… can’t help it… The thought of never seeing you again is not sitting well with me…”

I have yet to reply. What do I say? I mean, do I go into some purely physical relationship where I know the ending, an ending which fucking sucks for me? Do I try to have as much fun as I can before I get too involved? But can I really tell where that point is? When I do realize, will it be too late? Shit. Fuck. Why can’t things just be fucking easy? It’s fucking lame that everything has to be so goddamn complicated. Why is it so hard to find someone who’s badass, available, wants you just as much, a good fucking lover, and you two can just kick it?

What oh what will Miss Curious decide to do? Her history tells us………


In My Easter Basket:

Some of you may remember that I have a friend who lives right next door to 5th Paragraph (sorta’ dated last summer… and turned out to be a complete dipshit… he like defines the word). Anyway, I went to her house yesterday to meet her boyfriend flying in from Greece, and we were having an amazing Greek spread. I always kinda’ wonder if I’m going to bump into 5th Paragraph there. After getting satisfyingly toasted, I left her house only to bump into, yes, easy to guess… 5th Paragraph. We say some awkward hello’s… ask the other what she/he's been up to… etc… blah – blah – blah… Of course, in my little fantasy world I’d always hoped I’d run into him with some HOT and AMAZING boyfriend of mine… but that’s just not how things happen in the real world… instead, some chick comes outside wondering what was taking him so long… “Miss Curious, this is my girlfriend ‘whatever her name was’.” (of course, jesus)

Awkward. Annoying. She was totally NOT CUTE. Is that a good thing? To be left for some totally NOT CUTE chick? Well, whatever, it made me feel better.

And really, I got left because I don’t snowboard or freeboard or skateboard… and because we had a power struggle… he needs some chick to cater to HIS life… but I have a pretty busy fucking life already… so fuck him… he was looking all scrawny and gross. And I did wonder how I was ever attracted to him. But whatever.

So there you have it. Another weekend in the life of Miss Curious.

Monday Night Dice:

Tonight there will be NO DICE. I'm going to see Muse play this evening (seen them a couple times before)... yes, live shows, a place I feel most at home. The feelings I'll have tonight will far exceed those flirtatious and misleading comments and caresses from the all-too-desirable-why can't-you-just-be-in-love-with-me-iBartender.