Not a Cohesive Post... Couldn't Get It Together

Now that I have illegal cable, I’m watching too much TV, and I can’t seem to stop myself.

One show I’ve particularly gotten into is The Real World, Denver. How unfortunate. Anyway, one of the crazy-psycho chicks said something that struck me, yes, life lessons learned from reality TV… fucking sad, I know.

Smoking by the obligatory hot tub, she and one of the other cast members (I should know all their names, but I’m not that smart) were discussing relationships. He asked her if she’d met anyone recently… she replied, “No… ya know, I just haven’t been open to it.”

Seems like a simple comment, and it is. But then I started to think of all the clichés we tell ourselves for why we’re not in a relationship:

“I just haven’t been open to it.”

“I need to be okay on my own.”

“I’m just not in the right spot.”

“I’ve been going for the wrong type of guy/girl.”

“I need to figure myself out.”

“I’ve been too busy.”

And then, when we do find ourselves in relationships:

“It happened when I wasn’t looking.”

“I’d given up on guys/girls.”

“Love was right before my eyes.”

Blah – Blah – Blah.

Tragic.

I was just reading The Truth About Cocks and Dolls… and the heroine, Dolly, is in a situation where the potential hero admits strong feelings for her… but what does he say, “I have so many issues right now that I don’t know if I can be in a relationship.”

And he means it. As if it weren’t difficult enough to find someone with whom you have any chemistry, he has to throw in one of those clichés… throw in his own road block and let a perfectly perfect prospect, Dolly, turn into a “what could have been.”

Why do we do these things to ourselves? An issue is an issue if we want it to be. It’s like the blame game at work sometimes… where we want to point fingers and say it’s his fault or her fault… but really, we should just say, “okay, this happened… bummer… let’s learn from it… move forward and find a solution.” That’s how I do business. That’s how Dolly’s hero should be… “sure got some crazy things going on… but they’ll work out in the end because they always do… because they have to.” Simple.

Of course this is all easy breezy for me to say now… Because, now that I’m wiping the slate clean of those toxic bartenders and am moving into the drought period, I wonder how I could have ever been so powerless. I wonder why I was so obsessed with these boys… how I got so involved… especially with ones who’s integrity is questionable.

I wonder why things could have ever seemed complicated. These things all seem so silly… and we tell ourselves all these things to help us get by… but whatever, a relationship just hasn’t happened. Maybe it won’t ever… one has to be okay with that.

Ah, such a relationship obsessed world. I don’t exclude myself… can’t be too much of a hypocrite.

Fucking Shit Sometimes.

WORDS OF WISDOM:

God’s a euphemism for “I don’t get it.”