What's HOT To Miss Curious

When I was in Amsterdam years and years ago, my friend and I considered going to a live sex show. Being the young and CURIOUS girl that I was (sorta’ still am), I wondered what it’d be like. It wasn’t something I ever sought, but while I was there, it was a ‘wow, how do other people have sex?’ I mean, we can all watch porn, but that’s like watching Cinderella Story with Hillary Duff. You know, just not reality.

Anyway, be careful what you wish for (okay, I really wasn’t wishing for it, but anyway). This morning on my way to work it happened. I think I may be scarred for life. As I waited for that little “walk” man to appear, my eyes wandered to two homeless people having some morning sex.

DISGUSTING!!!

Why God WHY??!?!?!??!?!

It wasn’t pretty.

Moving on. And please whoever is above, eradicate that memory from my mind forever!


OH BOY:

I’ve been to a lot of straight bars lately. Since I’m relatively outgoing, I end up meeting people fairly regularly. This includes meeting men. More often than not, I meet some dude, who asks for my number or asks if I go to that bar a lot and that he hopes to see me there again or this or that. Some are cute, some aren’t. Some are witty, some aren’t. Whatever.

Anyway, this weekend, I met another dude. He was a cute little hipster dude. He asked the same questions and gave me his number. I was even interested in calling him until I woke up the next morning. I’m not a “dater.” I can’t just date random dudes where I know it’s just not going to go anywhere. Sure, I hook-up here and there and give a guy a chance, but at the end of the day, I’m kinda’ intense. These days I am looking for something "real" and not that fucking around bullshit I sometimes do... like, no dudes just 'cuz I'm bored and need some entertainment. I want someone who matters. (does that sound mean?)

So this recent guy, who is perfectly nice, made me realize that the number one quality I look for in a man is intelligence. I don’t want him to simply be able to hold a good conversation and be relatively bright. I want him to be exceedingly intelligent. This guy was smart, sure. But wouldn't give me a run for my money.

For some reason, it makes me feel girly. It makes me feel like he’ll always challenge me. I am in no way saying that I’m some brilliant chick. I think it’s obvious from this blog that I’m not. I’m just sayin’ I like an uber smart dude.

It’s so HOT to me.

Be nerdy, who cares.

Top Ten Qualities I Look For in a Man (in order):

1. Brilliant
2. Self-Aware
3. Sarcastic (and can take my shit right back)
4. Lives with Integrity (genuinely knows what that means)
5. Be into something, so I don’t make your life… you have one.
6. Horny, like often (believe me, I’ve dated guys that could do with sex once a week or once every 2 weeks)
7. Ambitious
8. Has good friends
9. Taller than me
10. A cock that’s either average or above average (really small would kinda’ suck)

So, yeah. When will men – women – boys – propagation – true love – romance, blah blah blah, ever leave my mind. But really, not one person can say they haven’t at some point or another obsessed about it or still obsess about it… and over-analyze boys and shit. Whatever. I’m annoying myself, hahaha!

Single and Straight?

Okay, I’ll admit, I check dudes out and try to assess whether or not they’re single or gay.

1. If he’s walking a cute little fluffy dog or Chihuahua, he has that dog because his girlfriend chose it or because he’s gay. If it turns out he’s straight, I personally wouldn’t want some pussy dude walking a frilly animal, so single and straight don’t matter in such a case.

2. If he’s walking two dogs, then I think he stays home with the dogs and his girlfriend. Two dogs are a big commitment, and a single guy is out too much trying to get laid and doesn’t have the time to take care of two dogs. 2 = pussy whipped at home catering to all three animals.

3. The other night I was at a show. While I was at the bar, I spotted an uber cute boy. But then, I saw he ordered a beer and a VODKA CRAN. If you see a dude ordering a vodka cran, that’s for his chick. Straight dudes don’t order that kinda’ thing. If you see a dude ordering two beers or a variety of beer and/or a brown drink (whiskey or scotch), him being attached is not a given. It’s to be researched further.

4. If he’s wearing a tight shirt where his hard nipples poke through, he’s gay. This is not a metro-sexual trait. He is homosexual. Which is, of course, all good, but he’s just gonna’ run from vaginas.

Anyway, these are a couple thoughts I had the other day.

NOT FUN NEWS:

My parents live in SoCal. My mom’s packing up our pictures and shit right now. I feel totally helpless and don’t know the severity of things. Eeks! Shit, if something happened, fuck. I can’t even imagine. All our neighbors are evacuating. Scary-scary!

Oh Right...

I have a blog. I'll update tomorrow. I think I have some thoughts ;-)

Dirty, Dirty Sex

Here is my dad's email responding to mine from yesterday:

It appears to be part of the male reproductive strategy to "sow seeds" widely, but make a special effort to see that at least some of the offspring grow up to reproductive maturity. Thus, the female tries to determine if the interested male is only in the sowing frame of mind, or if he has chosen her as "the one" he has selected for a more substantial ongoing investment of resources.


Hmm, so a man really can have a monogamous nature, but only after sowing his oats. Seems like there is . Interesting.


EMBARRASSING:

Yesterday at work I received a MySpace message from a dude I hung out with about 3 years ago. I haven't talked to him in over a year as he's had a girlfriend, and our rendezvous's ceased.

The subject says:

I had a dream...

Email:

about the dirty, dirty sex we used to have. It was good. (dirty, dirty in the sense that we had good chemistry and pushed each other around... and that, he loves my BJ's w/ a whole-lotta' spit... nothing one might gather from such a description)

So, we had some guy visiting our office trying to muster up some business. I've met him a few times before from having done business with him. He comes up behind me and says, "what are you up to?"

He read my email. (what the fuck?)

And said, "oh my god... no," as he covers his eyes, turns around, and walks away. I turned beet RED!!!

Part of me hoped he hadn't read it until the owner of the company overheard me telling someone about my humiliation. He caught the biz associate's name and said, "oh hey, what happened with him. While I was on the phone with him this morning, he asked what the laughing in the background was. I told him it was Miss Curious laughing."

The biz associate then replies, "whatever you do don't look over her shoulder."

Owner of my company, "what do you mean?"

"Oh nothing - nothing." The owner dismissed it until he hears someone near me laughing and using the biz associates name.

Bright Red Again!!!

He wouldn't leave until we relayed the story. BAD IDEA!!!

The owner of our company time and time again has said, "don't tell me anything you don't want the entire office to know." That is true. He canNOT keep his mouth shut.

Now, we drew a small crowd with the owner saying, "oh did you hear Miss Curious' story?"

Fuck Me!!!

But then, that conversation led to the fetishes of the men in our office. One in particular went into the happenings of his younger years.

Apparently, there's "Fire Play"... a whole process of just barely feeling the heat of the flame... something like candle wax, but riskier, which makes it all the more exciting.

Then he discussed how big the "Saran Wrap" scene is. People enjoy having their entire bodies saran wrapped with holes to breath and see... and a hole for the dick and balls and ass-crack to stick out. Then, the dominant partner has free reign. NUTS!!!

He went on to talk about the bondage - discipline - domination - submission (BDSM) and general sado-masochism. There apparently are entire training sessions on that shit.

WOW!!!

Oddly, I'm kinda' vanilla. I haven't been tied up or blind folded or had anal sex (eeks - ouch!) or role-played or done any golden shower shit.

I guess the grossest thing I've done is lick a dude's ass... in retrospect, I don't understand how I could have done that. It seems pretty gross-o, but then, in the heat of the moment, the story can always be different.

Hahaha!

Anyway... that's been my day. Typical.

The Genitalia Fit, But Not The Minds

In line with my last post, here are more thoughts on the differences between men and women:

(this part is a little scrambled. the info provided was super long, and it's difficult to write the gist... hope you can sorta' follow)

First off, my dad sent me an article on the size of a man's genitalia. Yes, sounds gross, and I am a little uncomfortable even discussing it with him, but he's so scientific about the whole thing. The article discusses why men have larger penis' which is to insure that they impregnate a woman in order to have their sperm oust another man's. I was always under the impression that a woman gets pregnant almost immediately. Turns out that that's not the case.

For instance, a woman can sleep with one man one night. 24 hours later, with his sperm still inside her (not drippin' folks) having not impregnated her yet, the man with the larger penis can reach the cervix from an advantageous point, deeper. Also, according to the study written on male genitalia, men who suspect their wives or partners are cheating, thrust harder. Apparently, a penis has evolved to eradicate another man's sperm. The thrusting essentially jiggles it out and pushes his in. WEIRD!!!

Here's my email to my dad after having read the article - this once again addresses my issues with our purpose only being to propagate and all evolution is centered around greater reproduction of the human species:

Dear Dad,

Anyway, this entire article once again takes the romance out of romance. It only makes me more disenchanted... our only purpose being propagation, and we merely have ideas of grandeur. Saddening.

One thing I can't fully reconcile is if men and women have body parts that fit perfectly together for the mating process, then why have our wants and needs grown so far apart... almost inhibiting successful propagation? Women are clearly more unsatisfied with the actions of men. We can't stand the nature of men solely wanting to sow their oats. We withhold our bodies until we get the reassurance of monogamy and commitment from men. If we go back to the hunter/gatherer days, we should be satisfied with pregancy alone because our children will be raised in tribes... with interdenpendency.

For instance, I will not have children unless I find a man that meets certain criteria... having similar interests, making me laugh, etc. Why can't other members of a tribe fulfill such things? I understand that men have evolved to meet these needs, but still a woman's satisfaction is on the decline (per your chart - study you sent me).

Why have a world where male and female genitalia fit so well for successful reproduction, but have a mind that clearly inhibits it?


BAM:

Well, yes, we're writing him off the blog... our communication has pretty much ended... as of last week and having it stop is kinda' a bummer. Like so final. Like door closed, and I for whatever lame-ass-pathetic reason, I still can't stop thinking about his punk-ass. Guess I need a rebound. I don't get it though... it was a short period of time. Well, I suppose it didn't help that we were in constant communication up until last week. Bleh! Anyway.

Saturday night, I met some dudes... I was told not to leave until I gave my number out (I left). This always happens when I go to this particular bar - you know, a straight bar. And every time, I meet the same type of dude... guys who have serious drug problems or are crazier than I am or are totally pervy or just dumb or have no ambition... blah - blah - blah!

I'm just not interested in them.

Meeting other guys makes me realize how much I did like Bam. Although he wasn't perfect, no guy is, his imperfections were not dividing differences on my end... they were those lame insecurities I have and he has that create bumps along the way.

At the end of the day, he really was / is a great guy. Not sure if I wrote about this, but I wasn't feeling so well a few weeks ago and darted out of town for a week. I sorta' mentioned this to him and then suddenly, he emailed all the time "just checking in - are you doing well"... and then told me he'd answer his phone no matter what and to call him if I needed him. He said he wanted to be there for me.

I was taken aback. He was just so sweet and attentive, and it just made me feel so much better about things.

Anyway, one realizes how difficult it is to find someone like him when they meet so many NOT like him. Boo-Hoo! :-)

Will Men Be Obsolete?

My father and I often have the conversation of, big surprise, the difference between men and women as well as the prevalence of happily married couples. He proclaims that more people are happy in their marriage than my cynical-self believes. Unfortunately, he’s been living in our small town for too long (my old town.) His research came as no surprise to me. While it seems more than half are happy, 60% isn’t good enough for me. Also, what’s a person’s definition of “happy.” And, interestingly enough, the percentage of women who are happy in marriage is almost half of the percentage of men who are happy. Sheesh, men don’t have a clue. Hahaha! Sorry dudes!

Below are some random tidbits from a study on men and women and their sexuality.

in connection with my previous post on pornography

…With rare exceptions, women do not purchase pornography, patronize prostitutes or become sex offenders. Studies show that men have many more sexual fantasies and lifetime sexual partners…

why men are monogamous, and it’s not because of their nature

…the overwhelming majority of individuals still confine sexual behavior to a single, exclusive partner. This pattern has existed throughout human history and can be viewed as a compromise between male and female sexual needs. Males benefit from this arrangement because they are spared the task of constantly seeking new partners and confronting the many conflicts which would occur in an "open market". But the arrangement does deprive men of the sexual variety many of them might otherwise prefer. Women have traditionally benefited from this arrangement by obtaining someone who will provide security for the family unit even if it means accommodating the male's somewhat greater sex drive…

not meant to marry?

…Census data indicates that the marriage rate has steadily decreased and the percentage of adults who are married has also significantly decreased. There has also been a substantial decline in the percentage of persons who report their marriages to be satisfying…

The chart didn't come out so clear. From 1976 - 2006, men and women have been asked whether they were happy in their marriages... below, men are blue and women are magenta.

Wow, what a decline in happy marriages. Higher expectations as the years go by? People being more honest about their relationships? Again, look at how staggering that figure is between men and women and their happiness in marriage. Men are simple. Hahaha!

divorce easier – and also a good reason why marriage is on the decline

In modern societies, women are capable of achieving independent economic status. As a result, they can choose to leave marriages which are unsatisfactory. This has affected men as well because they do not suffer from extreme social ostracism if they abandon their wives and families.

The article mentions that there are now a significantly large number of single moms, who are not teenagers, which was the case of the past. Women don’t need to marry men to support them and their kids. So really, do we want true romantic love or just some dude to bring home the bacon? ‘Cuz now that we can bring home the bacon, men are superfluous. Once again, sorry dudes!

Wow, this article makes me almost feel sorry for men. Pretty soon they’ll be obsolete.

But then, I’m still somewhat lost in the fantasy. I desperately want to believe in true love and romantic love and passionate love. All the statistics, however, give me no hope.

Although I do sound pessimistic all the time about relationships with dudes, I’m still a hopeless romantic. I don’t want to become too jaded… too closed to the idea of love… I don’t want to carry around some lame-ass baggage that all of us love to do. Baggage and going into relationships “safely” don’t help us. In the end, they fuck us. I don’t want to fuck myself.

I've said this once before... what I'm discovering about love is like discovering there's no Santa.

Ergh!

Porn and Pathetic

All guys look at porn. Just like all guys measure their cocks. It’s a plain and simple truth.

The other day I had lunch with a male friend of mine. He relayed the story of the last argument he got into with his live-in girlfriend. Apparently he ordered porn online and meant to have it sent to work, but he messed up. Before he got home, his girlfriend opened the package (um, don’t get why a chick would do that, seriously). She opened whatever the hell porn it was and then freaked out on his ass.

She had the usual questions and concerns of: Am I not satisfying you enough? Am I not pretty enough? Do you have some porn addiction?

But then, she won’t blow him. She won’t let him go down on her. She never initiates sex. She never wants to have sex. So, men who inherently have significantly higher libidos need some outlet. Since men have like no imagination (just kidding), jerking off to the few images they can conjure up just gets old.

They need some fresh new material.

Frankly, them indulging in some sort of porn is a good sign. It means that they probably aren’t going anywhere else. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but it’s a reasonable thought.

Anyway, I ask a lot of questions. People seem to be pretty open with me, so I’ve learned how common the use of porn is with men. It’s normal. It really is. But, with anything over-indulgence I’m sure can be a problem. Here and there, no worries.

I wonder what percentage of women actually buy porn. If anyone’s gonna’ buy it, it’s me. But not even I am really stimulated by visual porn. I do like female erotic, but that’s all words. Hmm. That’d be an interesting study. Well, I’m sure someone somewhere has already done that.


BOYS – BOYS – BOYS

Antonio’s a piece of shit I decided. The first night we hung out he was crazy, “let’s hang out… come visit me in such and such state… what are you doing tomorrow night? Wanna’ hang out? I’ll call you after work.”

Did I get a phone call? Of course not. I even got a bit of the ICK’s when he was overly interested. Yikes!

Then, I bumped into him a day later at his place of business. Again, he says, “Can I call you after work?”

I told him sure why not.

Any phone calls? NOPE!!!

Of course, he’s all the more attractive now that he’s not calling. And seriously, what the fuck? Why ask me what I’m doing? Why continuously say you’re going to call? He could have just left my house and told me he had a good time. I know he’s moving. I have no expectations of taking this any further than a very convenient fling (he works AND lives right around the corner from my house). He could have even just said, “hey, I’ll give you a call soon.” Not have been so specific about saying when we’re going to hang out and when he’s going to call me.

He’s fucking LA-AME!!!

Well, I’ve deleted his number, so I don’t accidentally drunk dial his stupid ass. And so, we write Antonio off the blog. Yes, DRA-MATIC of me (I recognize this), but I just don’t get dudes. I just don’t get them at all.

Speaking of dudes I just don’t get, if Bam’s blog name wasn’t so conveniently short, I’d rename him, Hot and Cold. One week, he’s emailing and calling all the time to make sure I’m doing well. The next week he totally ignores me. That was even the case in our relationship.

I really need to write him off this blog too.

But of course, this weekend is the birthday of the dude who set us up. He might get some people together (MIGHT). If that’s the case, Bam might be there. And I foolishly cannot wait to see him. I’ve already started thinking of what I’m going to wear. I then feel like such a pathetic dumbass. Sheesh. Miss Curious write him off - write him off

Ewww. I have a magnet on my file drawer that says, “Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.”

Frankly, I’d really enjoy doing this at that time. Let’s work on writing these boys off completely. They need to be Goo Gone’d!!!


WHY ARE WE ATTRACTED TO CERTAIN DUDES?

I had a conversation with my psychiatrist dad last night. Since he and my mom were the unfortunate catalysts for my obsession with propagation of the species, I asked him why, if we know some dude would make a poor provider and poor father to our children… and the meaning of our attractions to the opposite sex is supposedly for successful propagation, then, why do we keep going back to those jerk-offs?

First off, how in the world does my dad know everything about everything? (well, he is pretty effin’ brilliant and is fascinated by everything, so he learns everything about everything)

Turns out he’s read some study on this a while back. The details are fuzzy, but apparently attraction is based on a couple of things the first being an imprint of a relationship during ones youth. How far back into one’s youth is another question.

So, this explains why women who’ve had alcoholic or abusive fathers find themselves with that type of man.

Or, they say men always marry their moms. My dad, for instance, grew up with a dominant mother. His father pretty much did whatever she wanted. And so, my mom is a dominant mother, and he has assumed the role of his father.

Then, however, I used the example of The Bachelor. Yes, cheesey. Anyway, if he’s introduced to 25 gorgeous by anyone’s standard women, and on the first night he gets minimal interaction with them, why does he choose to keep one over the other.

First, we can say that he’s attracted to certain features (why that too? Imprint of our youth?), but if he loves brown haired brown eyed chicks, why does he get rid of half of them?

My dad says that we aren’t aware of all the little characteristics we like. That those little things are imprinted within us. Examples include, small ears or feet. STRANGE. Guess this sorta’ explains why on the first night I bumped into Antonio at a bar, he commented on my small feet. Every time I saw him since then, he kept commenting on them.

Weird.

Chemistry though. How does that work?

Well, I could write a whole lot more about what he said, but I’ve already talked your ears off… if people really read this anyway, hahaha!

POST BLOG WRAP-UP:

Write-off the punk-bitch boys. They are so Dun-zo!!!

Let's Get Naked?

(feel free to skip to Boys-boys-boys further down if you don't like my psychotic obsession with the meaning of life)

In my pursuit of happiness, I need to know that we’re not here to merely propagate because all roads lead to such a conclusion.

I saw Feast of Love last week (dee – press – sing)… I’m going to butcher the quote, but it went something like this:

Love is just a trick to get us to make babies.

And then, on like the one station I get (okay, exaggeration, I get a couple, hahaha!), there was that new TV show, The Big Bang. One of the characters snuck into a chick’s apartment to clean her room (yes, totally strange, but not the point)… his roommate tracks him down, and the cleaning dude tells his friend to speak quietly in a low register. He tells him this because women are sensitive to high-pitch sounds so they can awake should their baby need help.

You see, we’re designed to insure our offspring survives.

At Cal, I took an ancient Chinese history class. In it we discussed whether humans were inherently good. The professor seemed to think that we are. He used the example of a woman walking along and seeing a child about to fall into a hole. He said that almost any woman would instinctively run to save the child.

At the time, I thought, “wow, that’s true we inherently do want to help each other.”

But then, I was raised in a pure science home. I ran that scenario by my dad. Here was this professor, at Berkeley, smart dude, who had this example, which seemed pretty uplifting to me. So, my dad says, “well, yes, that still proves my point that we’re here to propagate because woman are programmed with such instincts since would be most likely that that child would be hers. That instinct is not exemplary of true goodness… it’s just the selfish gene that fuels a woman to take such actions.”

Dee-Press-Sing!!!

I want to know that our existence isn’t merely to propagate. I want to know that we’re not that basic. At this point, I see us like viruses that evolve to become resistant to whatever antibiotics that have been developed.


BOYS- BOYS -BOYS - AND MISS CURIOUS THE HO!!!

Well, I already got my answer as to who my next kiss would be. Unfortunately, the kiss came with such force that I didn’t get to enjoy the breath exchange right before it. His tongue hit my mouth and his lips followed.

Skim this post for details on him:
http://lilmisscurious.blogspot.com/2007/09/miss-curious-and-optimism-in-dating.html

I’d put off calling Antonio back because I felt like I was cheating on Bam, but Bam doesn’t want to be with me. So, I have to move on.

He came over when he got off work. He sat across the room in my over-sized chair. We smoked a bit and had some drinks. Then, we had what I like to call “Real Time” where we acknowledge that everything we’re about to say will be the complete truth.

He then divulged his life story… his insecurities, fears, what he wants to work on, how he thinks people perceive him. He’s two years younger and in dude years that’s like 6 years of maturity he needs to catch up on… sorry dudes!

I appreciated his honesty, immensely. It was fascinating and refreshing. I divulged just a bit because I’m actually Queen of Questions. I have a huge miss CURIOUSity.

We both said huge “wows” and that we’d make great friends.

A half hour later, he reached for a lighter on my desk where I’d been sitting. He then said, “I don’t want to be friends.”

He bent over and kissed me. I was taken by surprise. Since he came in with such a forceful tongue, I wasn’t quite enjoying myself.

I feel like the forceful tongue is something people work up to…work up to in the first kiss, fine… but not off the bat.

Then, however, I lost myself in it. I gave myself up to his fucking passionate as fuck kiss, and when he stopped, my eyes opened as widely as they’re capable of… those eyes of mine were both dizzy and screamed, WOW!

He went back to his side of the room, and we talked for a while until I hopped onto my bed, and he immediately followed. The making out ensued.

He’s very aggressive in the making-out department. He’s VERY sexual… like he wouldn’t get grossed out about anything, and he would be totally open to anything. We had a lot of boobage action, and he kept saying, “Let’s get naked!”

Um, NO WAY!!!

I really wasn’t into doing much, so things didn’t go very far despite his serious attempts.

Anyway, he moves out of the state at the end of November, and I’m thinking this really could be a fun fling.

However, he said he’d call yesterday and of course, didn’t. The thing is, I really don’t care that much. When I know something’s not going anywhere, I don’t really invest myself.

I DO NOT want to sleep with the dude. I’m such a STD hypochondriac, and a fling frankly isn’t worth the worry.

Perhaps he’ll call… perhaps he won’t, but I now have a kiss I can replay in my head again and again and my stomach drops every time.

Catching Up!

Did I mention I took off to So Cal all last week?!?! I’m sure I was missed. So yeah, I hibernated while I over-analyzed life and all that bullshit. I came to the conclusion that I just need something to believe in… true happiness, true love, true goodness… something. I believe in integrity… going to sleep comfortable with how you treat people.

There’s just so much suffering in the world. There are so few people I know who are truly happy. So few people who love their jobs… have great relationships with significant others or great friendships… and of course we live in this world where people kill each other for money and power… and I’ll just never – never – ever understand that. I just don’t understand. It’s difficult for me to reconcile all of these things… and to believe in people… there’s just something more that I need in my life to be find myself engaged in the world instead of being so disenchanted with the state of things.

Well whatever, I’m powerless… so boo-hoo me… and blah-blah-blah!!! ;-)


REALLY DEEP THOUGHTS:

While I was at home, I went through some of my old skool clothes. Some were pretty frickin’ cute and coming back in style. But, they of course don’t fit me anymore. For one second I though, “Hmm, I should just loose some chub and use these as motivation.”

I’ve of course had those skinny clothes in my closet before, but do I ever lose my blubber? Um, no. So I swiftly said fuck it, I’m a woman now with a woman’s body, and I don’t give a shit if I don’t fit into my high school clothes, hahaha!

Speaking those extra lbs, I think I’ll eat some Support Your Co-Worker’s Kid’s Soccer Team Wafer Chocolate now. Great idea!


MORE DEEP THOUGHTS:

I once said that as certain as I would one day die, I was just as certain that I’d lick ass again one day too.

Now I don’t think that’s so true. Well, unless I dated some dude where he just had to have his ass licked, but really, the thought of it is kinda’ disgusting, and perhaps I’ll be lucky and find someone who can live the rest of his life without a good rim-job.

Thoughts of ass crack naturally led to whether or not I’d ever kiss a dude again. I mean really, there are no certainties.

I do, however, like to daydream of the next guy I’ll kiss. It’s so intimate. I love the part right before the kiss where your faces are so close to each other that you can feel his hot breath mingle with yours. Yes, cheesey, but it’s fun to think about nonetheless. Who oh who will I be that intimate with? Or maybe never. Really. It’s always a possibility. It just is. I hope that’s not the case.

And of course, women think kissing while men think fucking. Oh Geez!

EL JOB:

Malenky, thank you for the profession suggestion, hahaha. It does sound fun to be a sex therapist, but… but, I don’t know.

So, I sent out 2 resumes, and I got a call for one of the jobs. Much to my surprise. I had an over the phone interview last week, and they want me to come in this Friday. There’s a great chance I won’t get the job or perhaps I won’t even want it, but this signifies a step forward… that I really am ready for a change and am taking actions to potentially secure that. We shall see.

Green Eyes, I'm going to reply to your comment soon!