Miss Curious' Year "End-In" Review (It'll Take 5 Days To Get Through)

Miss Curious' Thoughtful Pose.

HERE IT IS... THE YEAR "END-IN" REVIEW

January:

- Contemplated dumping DV, but he beat me to the punch, and I was pissed and then suddenly thought he was so fucking great because I always want what I can’t have.

February:

- Downward Spiral, hating everyone and everything.
- Decide I needed to find a new Crazy Doctor to shake the Crazy.
- I chose Dr. Jones from the phone book, so I could say, “Dr. Jones – Dr. Jones” with a Chinese accent as though I was in the movie Indiana Jones.
- He turned out to be cool. Told me to take fish oil to help the depression.
- The regular fish burps ensued.
- Continued to drunk dial DV. Would wake up with every variation of his number except for his actual number under my “dialed calls” log. Sometimes people would answer at 2 in the morning, and I’d ask for him. Surprisingly, they were always nice when they told me I had the wrong number.
- Started the blog to share my horrific bouts of drunkenness.

March:

- Got wasted on an empty stomach. Barfed in the cab all over myself, on my clothes, on my wallet, everywhere. Got home. Stripped. Sat on the bathroom floor barfing in the toilet. Decided it was a wise idea to call DV and tell him I’m dying and want one last fuck. He conceded to a vomiting drunk. Guys are fucking idiots.

April:

- Nixed the fish burps.
- Tried something new.

May:

- This time opened the door of the cab to barf after the Nine Inch Nails concert at the Warfield.
- Started feeling better with new Dr. Jones drugs.
- Thought I’d get “man getting” hair and bleached it. Instead, I killed the hair and got “woman getting” hair.

June:

- To my surprise, it was “man getting” hair. It was the conversation topic The Brother used to come and talk to me.
- The Brother dumped he girlfriend for me. He made it seem they were “hanging out” for a couple months. Try 10 months. I felt like shit.

July:

- My birthday month.
- Things with The Brother are going well.
- End of the month, The Brother starts getting super busy with music.
- My wife Midge files for divorce.

August:

- The hair goes fluorescent red.
- The divorce (please be clear – I’m a woman with a gay cubie-mate pretend wife) starts to get ugly. I’m too fucking sensitive and lash the fuck out when I’m hurt. Basically, I’m lame, and I’d hate me too.

September:

- Despite now having more time to bang, The Brother’s sex drive is still Gone-Zo. This is a problem.
- My feelings for The Brother change in nature. Without sex, I look at him just as a “friend.”

October:

- The Brother and I are Done-Zo. I wasn’t going to be 2nd in every way to music. AND I wasn’t going to be in a sexless relationship.
- I visit my younger “mentally retarded” sister at Yale (they let anyone in).
- Being around ambitious hopeful students makes me reflect on where I was at their age. I suddenly feel awful about myself and sad for them because it’s going to be hard… and I don’t want my sister or any of them to be like me.
- Then I thought I should start to like myself better and where I am better and then maybe I’ll be hopeful for them.

November:

- MySpace Date… unsuccessful.
- Thanksgiving… nothing worth mentioning.

December:

- MySpace Date #2 doesn’t make it out of the gate, Tricked You – Gone-Zo. Trick's on me.
- Dr. Jones’ drugs are working pretty well.
- This time last year, the Downward Spiral began. This year I don’t cry everyday… for no reason.
- Christmas… I get way more than I deserve. I realize that I feel guilty about everything. Guilty that I got what I got. Guilty that my Christmas bonus was half of what it was last year. Guilty that for one minute I was disappointed…. because I have so much and got so much more from my family and friends than I could have ever wanted. And I make myself sick from this guilt. Sick.
- I realize that I can’t keep punishing myself for having what I have. And I can’t keep punishing myself for wanting more. I’ve been given what I’ve been given, and some of it I made for myself. And because there are people that have less – were born into less – I have no choice but to go as far with these things as I can… Go far in the right ways. I owe it to them - I owe it to me.

Yes, so here I am at the year’s end, and yes, I do want to add more color to my wardrobe… but really, I want to be kind. I want to truly work on being a KIND person.

This goal is a balance of altruism and narcissism. I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of Miss Curious’ philosophy on KindNess… but the short of it – it’s a matter of finding patience, empathy and sympathy… realizing that were all in this together and no one’s right and no one’s wrong… and people are the way they are for some reason… and their imperfections and reactions are for whatever reasons. And I can’t fault them or myself for any of it.

And argh:

I have to work on NOT – being so sensitive and lashing out as a result, being jealous, being pessimistic, being despondent and bitter.

I have to – take control of my life… give it the direction that I need. This is my experience here… HERE IN MY HEAD… and I need to be peaceful and share these thoughts and experiences if people want them.

Maybe no one made it to the end of this post. And that’s all good because I’m here at this point of reflection and nonsense and I know what I need to work on and where I’m going… well, sort of… so here I go again.

EXHALE.

AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FOO'S!

Well, I was planning on having stoner Christmas with me ex-wife Midge, but there was some sort of miscommunication, and he thought I was only coming over for Christmas Eve... whereas I thought we were going to be in our PJ's smoking and eating all weekend or at least on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day... but really, he's going to be gone on Christmas day... all of this unbeknownst to me. Now I feel somewhat deserted and stupid... and I'd gotten all excited about our Christmas celebration, when really he had a completely different idea... I just 100% thought we were on the same page - the way we spoke about it -- about our weekend and PJ's 24/7... but anyway, I felt (and feel) like an ass...

And yesterday I got money I wasn't expecting from a co-worker that I sometimes help out and then my real Dad gave me more money that I hadn't expected either... and then, my bosses told me to take tomorrow off (they told me this just today), so 2 hours ago, I bought a pricey ticket to spend xmas with my family! San Diego here I come!

My family is wonderful... and now I think I was crazy for ever thinking that I wouldn't go!

SOOO, HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!!

New Year's Resolution

Why wait for Christmas to be over when you can make your New Year's Resolution now? I mean the New Year's plans are in tact (well, sorta), so I've been thinking long and hard about what I'm going to do in the New Year. Last year, it was something like quit smoking and educate myself in the history of man or some stupid shit like that. And then, I always think I should be nicer to people and more understanding and patient, but that's usually thrown out the door New Year's Eve itself. So fuck me.

This year, I was thinking I should volunteer for human rights or be a big sister to some kid in some bad neighborhood like my own.

But then I thought, I should just be selfish... like always... and do something I can really follow through with... so here it is:

This year Miss Curious is going to add more color to her wardrobe... enough of the black, I've gotta branch out... it's going to be hard, but I think I can give it a good go! Hahahaha! I love being a big fat punkass bitch!

Romance Novels:

I have all these friends that discuss the latest intellectual novels, and I sit back feeling somewhat guilty and I don't participate in the conversation whatsoever. I know I've mentioned this before, but as of late my addiction has worsened...

It's true. I am officially-whole-heartedly addicted to Cheesey Romance Novels with no intellectual / thought provoking value at all. Judith McNaught is my drug of choice, and she just can't print her books fast enough for me. I read through them in day or two. I clench my teeth and squeal at the wit and charm of her characters... they're all the same of course -- the strong intelligent woman who challenges the dark mysterious guarded man -- makes him fall madly in love with her... and they go through these battles of loving and hating one another. And I wonder at what point will they actually get together... when will they overcome their stubborn behaviour and profess their undying love for one another.

I tell ya' Movies and Romance Novels have done me in... and I ask where the bitter-cynical Miss Curious has gone... and I try to give off such impressions of nonchalance, but really - really I'm such a gushing silly hopeless romantic. Well, fuck me.

Content Maintenance

I had a quiet weekend. I saw 2 movies, both by myself. And it was nice. And I liked that it was quiet. I like that I’m heading in a simple direction. Despite my blog and super grudge holding stubborn personality, I really want to be silent. I just want to go day to day. I want to go home and watch a movie or read a book or get excited about a new play-list on my iPod. I don’t mean to stir up trouble or act immaturely. I just want to plain and simple be nice to everyone… to be patient… to be understanding… part of this does entail a certain level of withdrawal, but I believe I can find a balance. Hm. The Art of Contentment?

And My Art is Being Challenged:

Christmas hasn’t even ended, and the New Year’s “what to do?” craziness has already begun… You see, most of my life I spent at my dad’s in Massachusetts where I knew no one and preferred going to bed early. Now that I’m older, I realize that so many people have all these expectations of having a GREAT New Year’s. And then I feel all this pressure, like I should be doing something cool… but really, I know it seems like a pity-party or something, but I wouldn’t mind watching movies and eating food that will kill me sooner rather than later.

So I’ve had all these emails back and forth about what to do and who’s going – who’s not – couples outing or singles outing… and I’m spinning… I’ve got to stop spinning… so all you punk-loves reading this, if for some reason, I pull a Houdini (disappear) it’s for no special reason, merely the fact that it’d be kinda nice to have a chill New Year’s… and to toast with my childhood androgynous bear Rainbow.

And should this be the winning contender, I sincerely hope that no one takes it personally because it isn’t meant to be some pout… it really is the fact that New Year’s for me has typically been quiet, and I do like it. And many of you think I’m wild and crazy Miss Curious, but really that’s Miss Curious 2, and Miss Curious 1 is the homebody, who loves her family and loves sitting in a dark theater and loves tuning the world out with music.

Again, I am still undecided about plans, but please – please – please don’t even sweat me… I’m just feeling mellow right now. Content to be exact. Yes, Content. Sweetly Content.

One of Life's Great Mysteries (in the world of Male vs. FeMale

Checking my phone one last time for messages, I ran across the street to greet my awaiting friends. After some hugs and hello’s, we wandered into the coffee shop. When I saw the little Mission Hipsters with their vintage shirts and “my hair really falls into these spikes” hair, I was suddenly glad I wore my 1 dollar black polyester shirt from high school.

We caught up with your standard fuck and cock talk…Typically when I hear of friends talk about getting poked regularly, I make mental notes to go out and fuck soon… but this time, I was happy just talking about it and not feeling like I needed a good pussy licking.

And as Sigur Ros shook the room, I couldn’t help but glance at my purse wondering if the shaking was really the vibration of my phone and that when I left here there would be a message from Tricked You waiting for me.

We got up to leave, and I didn’t want the girls to see me check my phone, so I walked with them knowing that as soon as we parted, I’d quickly check. 22nd Street, 21st, 20th, and finally 19th Street. Each block seemed to take forever. I said one good-bye there and walked with the other. This meant I’d have to wait until I reached my gate to check.

No such luck there either… we saw piece of furniture on the street that I thought would look nice in my apartment. Now my hands were full, and I had to wait until I got into my casa, took off my coat, and then unzipped my purse….

NOTHING. No messages. Just the questions of “what’s too early to call?” and “what’s too late to call?” and “why the fuck do I even care?”

A half hour later I was lying on my stomach sporting my hot pink sweat-shirt nightgown with “Morning People Should Be Shot” emblazoned on the front, my iPod blasting the embittered Tori Amos, and I was thumbing through a holiday Pottery Barn Catalogue. What have I become?

But anyway, I was worried I might not hear the phone over Tori Amos slurring “I’ve got an angry snatch,” so I kept checking the phone. 10:12… and then 10:13… and then I thought, “oh my god… oh my god… I checked the phone just ONE fucking minute ago… what’s wrong with me?!?!”

And then… I checked it again!!! Still 10:13 pm. Oh MY GOD!?!?!? I’m fucking PATHETIC!!!!

Needless to say, there was NO phone call. And again be reminded, that the first time he got my number, I had forgotten I even gave it to him… I never even looked at the phone…

This Is How Things Should Have Gone Down w/ Tricked You:

After agreeing to my “experiment” of being my 2nd MySpace date before the end of the year, I gave him my number. I received no phone call and no emails. I thought, hm, well that was that… no worries on my end. It was fun for a couple blog posts… and now onto something new, right!??!!

This is where Tricked You should have just said, oh well, I just don’t have time…. And then never called and never emailed. That would’ve been just fine with me.

But it doesn’t happen that way, Tricked You does initiate more contact and does ask what my plans are for the weekend and does say he wants to go out then… and this is where I don’t understand men AT ALL.

Here It Is… The Point Where I Just Can’t Seem to Connect the Dots:
(a less nebulous example)

You’re at a bar… you’re talking to a guy all night, and he actually seems kinda’ cool for a ‘guy at a bar.’ Then you say, “Hey I’m heading home. It was nice meeting you. I’ll see you later.”

Then you TURN AROUND and start WALKING AWAY… he stops you, “Hey wait, can I get your number and call you sometime?”

You concede. And what does he do in the coming weeks? Rather, what doesn’t he do in the coming weeks? HE DOESN’T CALL!!!

So why men, why?? Why do you say you’re going to call and seem excited and then never follow through?

Sometimes I care and sometimes I don’t. It’s just a mystery that I’d like to solve. I’d like to just know WHY? I mean c’mon, I’m MISS CURIOUS… and am just curious senors.

a. Fuck b. Fuck c. Fuck

a. I hate when I put a string on my finger as a reminder, and then I totally forget why it’s there.

b. I hate that the first time I gave Tricked You my number I didn’t care if he called, and now giving it to him the second time, I care. Fuck.

c. I hate that I’m trying to pay off my debt, and I’m cringing as I spend money I just don’t fucking have. I feel so fucking tied to my debt. All I want to do is live abroad again, and I just don’t see how I can. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

PMS'ing?

Way Too Much Blog Attention for a Way Too Much Nothing

C'mon now. I literally "wrote-off" Tricked You just yesterday, and what does he do - out of the blue??!?!? Emails me and says that he's been busy studying, but wants to go out and asks what i'm doing this weekend.
I mean, I can't hold anything against him... I really don't care much either way.

So I replied.

And I told him, again...to give me a ring (not the engagement kind), and we can set something up if our schedules permit. So, we'll see. Perhaps it'll be another "no-call" or maybe he will surprise us all and call... and then give me something more than New Year's resolutions to write on my blog.

RANDOM-NESS:

Walking back from lunch w/ my co-workers dumb and dumber (in an endearing way) we passed by the restaurant Trader Vics...

Dumb says, "hey Miss Curious, is that Joe's cousin?"

I'm easily amused.

A Tribute to the Hype of Tricked You... You Will Be Missed By All

The MySpace message, “SO WAS I JUST WASTING MY TIME BUYING ALL THOSE WEDDING MAGAZINES AND PUTTING MY DEPOSIT DOWN AT THE HOLIDAY INN?” is very tempting indeed, but I lack the vigor for such pranks at this time. I do, however, hope the photo of Tricked You will suffice. As you can see by his, hm, shall we say very “serious” demeanor, I was led, rather mislead, to believe he’d be an excellent MySpace date #2. Ahh, what could have been! With a face like that, a chest to keep me warm in the winter, and a ready and willing gay roommate to take his photo in the shower, I couldn’t be more devastated that we never met face to face.

On Another Note: Miss Serious Miss Curious:

Last night, my ex-wife Midge and I had the obligatory conversation, “where do you think we’ll be this time next year?”

Our conclusion – probably the same exact fucking place… just different players and different props… you know still having the same EXACT questions, concerns… to stay at this job or to go, having this problem with that friend and that problem with this boss, kinda’ wanting a relationship, kinda’ not… and if in one, is this person right or wrong or this or that. The same interactions - altercations again and again.

And this is why I love Nine Inch Nails: (PLEASE NO READING BELOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE HOW TRULY CHEESEY THIS CHIPPER EX-SOCAL GIRL CAN BE)

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told…

Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same...

Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend...

I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end…

But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do.

Those Wedding Magazines All for Naught?

Flu season’s running rampant in my office. It’s like fucking kindergarten where all the little brats are getting each other sick again and again. Needless to say, I was on my deathbed Friday through Sunday. To avoid getting bed sores I mustered up the strength to go to a free movie with The Brother (as just friends, honestly)… we saw Pride and Prejudice.

After seeing this movie, my suspicions were confirmed. Yes. Movies have ruined me. Totally. Completely. Relentlessly. Ruined. Fucked. Me.

I without a doubt thought that my brooding knight would rescue me and my heaven would begin. What I hadn’t realized is that these Mr. D’Arcys (Pride & Prejudice) and Almasys (English Patient), yes are mysterious and uncannily handsome, can’t be brought out to drink with your friends. Your family and co-workers won’t meet him and be like, “oh my god Mr. D’Arcy is the one for you.” Mr. D’Arcy isn’t going to want to do the “sprinkler” on the dance floor or impressions of Eddie Murphy and Sexual Chocolate. Almasy will refuse to meet your parents. He’ll even refuse to watch, “Meet the Parents” or “Meet the Fockers.”

Those mysterious men that our wit and charm supposedly win them over are only good for intense stares and the occasional passionate fuck. A real relationship could never work. I could never be with Almasy or Mr. D’Arcy.

And the movies told me it could work. The movies told me that this is what would make me happy. And that if I was witty enough I could attract that attractive man who lacks social graces. Because yes, the lack of social graces is highly desireable.

So I’m left with these fantasies that I’m desperately trying to connect with reality… and might I add, if not obvious enough, that I’m frankly having a difficult time with it.

MySpace Update:

Well, there has been no contact with Tricked You. It seems as though he wasn’t up for the daunting experiment. Based on his profile and insane replies, I thought he was a strong candidate. But I must have Freaked the poor boy out. Chatting with my sister Naughty Nods the other night, she mentioned that some guy hadn’t called her back. She wondered if it would be strange for her to pull a Swinger’s, Jon Favreau, where she would keep leaving insane messages over and over.

Then I thought about Tricked You and how I’m just having fun with this – this nothing’ness really… and how funny it would be for me to email him and say, “SO WAS I JUST WASTING MY TIME BUYING ALL THOSE WEDDING MAGAZINES AND PUTTING MY DEPOSIT DOWN AT THE HOLIDAY INN?”

If I Hitchhiked In Ukraine, SF Craigslist Is Small Potatoes (Yeah, I'm Pretty Much Super Cool)

Tuesday, I did take the chance of meeting some stranger to carpool down to Santa Cruz for Nine Inch Nails. And here I am, still alive. And wishing the show weren’t over. Post-Concert Depression, Miss Curious has fallen.

ON ANOTHER NOTE:

I’d like to say that I feel less psycho this year than last. At this time last year, I was dating DV and questioning whether or not to break-up with him. And then, much to my surprise, that MOTHERFUCKER broke up with me.

Relationships make me insane. A man suddenly has this power over you… your emotions. You want to hang out with him all the time and take offense if he doesn’t want to see you just as much. And then, I start going through the – “he’s not amazing enough or is he, and I’m just being too picky.” So I go through this “I want him and I don’t want him” roller coaster… I obsess over these thoughts and can’t just enjoy my time with him.

But anyway, right now I’m single. And I like it. I can also attribute some of my improvement to a new anti-depressant, Lamictal. Yes, I’m pill happy… who the fuck cares… they work. I haven’t had anything crazy happen in my life to warrant my depressive behavior. My psychotic-ness stems purely from over-analyzing myself, the world, my expectations – And all of this is GREATLY HEIGHTENED by being in a relationship.

Hm. So now as I over-analyze this in my Blog, I am actually quite appreciative that I’m single. Yes, it’s a beautiful thing.

BUT – BUT – BUT, I do love to fuck, and I do have the ability to FUCK and want the guy to go home immediately afterwards. I want my own bed, so kill me. And a date here and there is fun…. Gives that momentary high of the unexpected… this brings us to our MySpace update…

MySpace UPDATE:

After Tricked You agreed to be part of my “experiment,” I then emailed him back (Tuesday) and gave him my number asking him to please not be a psycho caller, but use my number responsibly (hahaha)… and call my ass to set up our date. So, he has my number, and hopefully he’ll call. If not, I'll live. If and when he does call, however, you’ll all be the first to know!

Little Miss NO SHAME

3 UPDATES TODAY!!! PASSED THE TEST -- GOING TO NINE INCH NAILS TONIGHT - AND READ THE MYSPACE "TRICKED YOU" UPDATE... I LAID IT ALL OUT ON THE LINE... I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO SHAME!!!

MISS CURIOUS:

ah... things are slightly back to normal today... well, whatever that really is anyway. and your week ended okay? sooo, i'm going to divulge my ulterior motives for this seemingly directionless banter.

disclaimer: i know this is is both ridiculous and cheesey, but frankly who gives a fuck... i'm april, it's expected. i have this group of girlfriends... including the one i was forwarding your profile to... we've decided that we have to go on 2 online dates by the end of the year... and we're expected to have good stories to tell. (i know - i know sounds lame... but whatever, i spent my college years doing everything FJS - for jokes sake... seemed like a good idea... this did too when i agreed to it)

i've been on one date -- i actually dragged a friend on it with me -- since i'm chicken shit and it was my first myspace date ever... he was dull.

i'm not dull. you don't seem dull.

basically, i'm hoping you'll humor me and be my second date... and then i write about how awful the date was and what a loser you are. okay, no slander. well, i do write about it. i have a lot people to entertain.

but anyway... what do you really have to lose? we go out, have a drink... have some great conversation (i'm pretty amazing at conversation)... and if we get drunk enough, i'm easy - and maybe you are too? you can obviously say a big huge NO... like maybe you have some chick that you're banging and would feel guilty doing me this gigantic-o favor. even better you'll say a big

YEAH. and we goof off - see who has the better dead-pan. and that's that. there it is.... hahaha. wow, i can't believe i just said all that. oh wait, yes i can. but anyway... just email me back that big fat yes. :) or that can be that... trust me, it's impossible for me to have hard feelings. :)

TRICKED YOU:

I KNEW it! There's always an ulterior motive. And it's usually my johnson. Yeah, ok, we can go out. I'll be your social experiment. You will regret it.

to celebrate the passing of the exam... i just bought a ticket at face value to NIN in Santa Cruz 4 tonight... I'm going with some girl off Craigslist... yes, very last minute... but i couldn't resist!

Guess who passed her Real Estate Exam?

ME!!!!

Send me your loans, your friends' loans... I'm basically a rockstar now! hahaha!

Does This Seem Like I'm Bored?

Today at work is very slow, so this is MEGA-POST… that means it’s UBER-Long

Although I’ve grown pessimistic in my later years, I still do hold onto some wildly romantic idea of love. I’d like to think that love and homicidal tendencies come from the same place… that it’s the same fire that can ignite both… and the more homicidal a person is the more he or she can love…. well, a certain type of love. we’re all capable of so many different types of love. “the heart is an organ of fire” (Ralph Fiennes, The English Patient)… I’d love to fall in love and know that without a doubt this was the person with whom I wanted to be. I don’t know many people who can say that… who can say that their doubts haven’t been extreme… and that maybe, just maybe, they may have settled. It’d be impossible for me to settle. I’m just not wired in such a way. And maybe settling is being realistic. And perhaps I’m just unrealistic. And perhaps I’m too homicidal. Perhaps I won’t find someone I’ll want to murder half the time and fuck the other half.

MySpace Update:

This Tricked You banter was getting boring, so I made the move for us to “get together and see who has the better Dead-Pan.” And it’s not even that I feel like going out / dating / whatever… it’s more like we started emailing and we either totally stop or hang out, I guess. But anyway, I was doing my non-chalant thing… he emailed last Thursday, and I just emailed him back this afternoon… ‘cuz I’m like so cool. But now who’s cool?!?!? That stupid Tricked You motherfucker… he totally read me “let’s get together” email and hasn’t replied. He’s not supposed to play my little games… he’s supposed to just email back… you know, checking the Yes or No box like in 5th grade.


Holiday Movie Reviews from a Psycho Movie-holic:

Walk the Line:

Okay, okay, okay… I’m going to ‘walk the line’ on this one… I thought it was just MEDIOCRE. Perhaps I went in with insane expectations and was disappointed… who knows why – but I just didn’t like it all that much. Yes, I do want to fuck Joaquin Phoenix, but I wanted to fuck him after “Inventing the Abbotts.” My thoughts – every rockstar drinks too much, does too many drugs, cheats on his wife, has father issues… and the occasional death in the family. I mean, puhleaaze, can I say trite, commonplace, hackneyed, clichéd, and a million other adjectives that mean – SEEN IT A GAZILLION times before??? The best line… and one that can be used as an excuse for everything, “Elvis does it.”

Aeon Flux:

LaSassy warned me that this one hadn’t been pre-released to the critics for review. This almost never happens. When it does. It means the movie sucks-ass. Chicajato – this movie did Suck-Ass.

Capote:

See it. Phillip Seymour Hoffman = Brilliant. I love those eras where writing was more than having Oprah endorse your novel for her book club, but it was a lifestyle… where Harper Lee and Truman Capote were friends… and years before Hemingway and Fitzgerald and others wrote and smoked and drank wine and acted socially superior in Paris.

Harry Potter:

Long. Half the movie was superfluous. But I liked it nonetheless. If you like that Harry Potter world, this takes you right into it.

Just Friends:

I love Ryan Reynolds. I hate Alanis Morissette for taking him off the market (like I had a chance). But anyway, this movie could be good stoned, but I wasn’t, so it wasn’t.

Chicken Little:

Worth the Chicken Little break dancing at the end of the movie. I love when cartoon characters do the robot.

Derailed:

Slow start. Very slow start. Three quarters of the way through the twists and turns picked the pace up… but ultimately, NetFlix this and a word to the actors – Please practice your death scenes in front the mirror. Please! Come to the set prepared to die a good believable death.

Year-In-Concerts:

2 Nine Inch Nails shows
2 Tori Amos shows
1 Tegan and Sara
1 Billy Corgan
2 A Band Called Pain
1 Eenor
1 Jazz Festival
Hm. I thought it was more for some reason. More next year, I suppose.

All I Can Say...

All I can say is that I should have studied for my Real Estate exam... hahaha. It didn't seem like such a hard test -- if you've read the material. I'll let y'all know next week the final verdict on that test score. Luckily, there are no penalties for taking it again - and again - and again!

MySpace Update:

Or better yet... MySpace Lack of Update... no movement on the Tricked You front. I'm not particularly inspired to move nor does he seem to be... I'm tapped out of homeless and retard-talk... AND fuck... as I said before, I'm just sooo not feelin' like puttin' the ass out there right now. I have just about as much motivation for dating as I do for studying. Yeah, not much.

Hmm... and it's the Holiday Season.... keeps the mind occupied on better things like shopping for myself... and sometimes for others :)

Merry Stoner Christmas:

I'm staying in SF for X-mas this year... my ex-wife Midge and I have decided to have "Stoner" Christmas together. Such a holiday entails the usual frills-
1. Christmas Pajamas - to be worn at all times
2. Christmas Cookes - they'll be the Best Ever this year... being stoned will do that
3. Christmas Movies - round the clock, to be watched in X-Mas PJ's while eating X-mas cookies

Needless to say, good times will be had.

Updates on a BROTHERLY front: (this text is in Black for a reason)

And oooh... went to dinner with The Brother last night. I took him out for a belated birthday. I 100% feel like he's not just a good "guy" friend... BUT, I oddly feel like he's a "girl" friend.... like a girly-girl friend, hahahaha.

And oooh... Another Brother... gave Another Brother my telephone number while under the influence of Stella Artois last weekend. In the elevator on my way back to the bar, I started talking to These Brothers. If you hadn't already noticed (a. you're fucking slow), I'm pretty fucking chatty and wild when I drink (b. normally as well).... but anyway, I start talking about how Brothers love my ass. Then I came up with the great idea of having These Brothers touch my ass.... just to see how great it was. They reluctanctly (yeah right) agreed. After telling me that it indeed was lovely, the Another Brother got my number.

When I got home that evening, I had a voicemail ALREADY from the Another Brother. Another Brother called, "just to see if he had the right number."

Okay - okay - okay... this "just to see if I had the right number" has happened to me before. Another Brother my message to you:

a) thank you for calling me that same night; now I know what number not to answer
b) there is such a thing as "missed calls", so I can see that you've called 4 times today

But anyway... let the onslaught of Christmas parties begin... Red Hot Thighs I'll see you tomorrow!